fear – Jean A. Costa

fear

-1

archive,tag,tag-fear,tag-964,stockholm-core-1.1,select-theme-ver-5.1.7,ajax_fade,page_not_loaded,wpb-js-composer js-comp-ver-6.0.3,vc_responsive

September 28, 2014 In Faith, Memory

Claiming Courage

Affirmations: I am
courageous.

“I learned that courage is not the absence of fear,
but the triumph over it. The brave man
is not the one who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
Nelson Mandela

It seems lately the topic of conversation has often turned to the
concept of courage. Partly because my
Women of Faith study group is reading The Ten Prayers God Always Says Yes To
by Anthony DeStephano. One of the prayers is, “God grant me
courage.” I loved the chapter of
this topic. I thought his presentation
was clear and comprehensive and for me, just what I needed to “hear”
at this time.

I know I have at least two positive affirmations that have
bolstered my confidence over the years.
They are, I am a bold adventuress and I am audacious. I say, “yes I can.” They have worked quite well for
me. Many times I’ve jumped into
situations, well OK maybe I simply walked into them, which I was not sure
about. I’d usually come out the other
side excited about what had taken place and exhilarated that I’d overcome my
fear and anxiety. It was always a very
empowering experience.

While those affirmations have been good, most of my days are
fairly uneventful or at least not adventurous and yet I can carry with me a
sense of concern; concern about my finances, my health or that of my loved
ones, my relationships and especially about the future.

Part of Anthony’s premise was that we need to practice being
courageous. We need to pick up the
quality, the gift every day. At first we
should start with small things and as our strength grows and our courage muscle
becomes stronger, we will be able to be courageous at more challenging
times. They are a coming! Or, perhaps they are already here. The words were for me, filling a need. His advice was exactly what I seemed to need
at this particular time in my life.

I believe I am still grieving the death of my mother and her
blessed but very difficult last several years of her life. I know I will heal but for now the memory
lingers and weighs on me and leaves me wondering about my future, my old age
and my death.

Think about the brave people you know? Think about the brave people you have read
about? The first group that always comes
to my mind are our service people. I
know for some they discovered courage in situations they never imagined they
could endure. Our veterans are some of
our most remarkable heroes. Then, our
fire fighters come to mind. My dad,
Frank Grolimund, was a captain with the New York City volunteer fire
fighters. I vividly remember being with
him as he ran into a burning building to help with whatever was necessary. I believe he was very brave, if not a little
crazy. I think too of all the fire
fighters who ran towards the dangers of the World Trade Center on 911. The
memory still brings tears to my eyes. Then, there are all those people fighting
cancer or some other life threatening illness.
I am here to tell you it takes an enormous amount of courage to continue
that fight and sometimes even more, to allow yourself or a loved one, to let
go.

The greatest example of courage for me, however, is that of Jesus
Christ. When I mediate on his time in
the Garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:36-46) I cannot imagine the courage it
must have taken for him to give himself completely over to His Father and get
up and walk out to what he knew, he knew in every excruciating detail what he
was to experience! He must have asked
His Father for courage that evening and it was obviously granted.

Now, I have learned that God will also grant me courage if I only
ask. It will be one more answered prayer
and I don’t have to wait, I can claim it now.
I can claim it daily in all things, small and with practice, large. “God grant me courage.” I am asking and I believe in answered prayer
and with that comes a new affirmation, I am courageous.

How about you? Want to overcome fear and become brave? Want more courage? Join me.
Ask!

February 24, 2013 In Uncategorized

Let Go of Worry

Affirmation: I let go of worry.

She just announced she’s going to Cuba. It’s not her first trip. She’s gone there before. My first thought is “She is so brave.” My second thought is “I hope she has a safe trip.” My third thought goes to my greatest fear, “I hope she’s not abducted by a band of rebel guerrillas and made to traipse through the jungle where she gets all wrinkled and dies ugly.” Worry. I’m already worrying about her safety and for that matter, my safety and I’m not even going.

My mediation reading this morning was about worry. It said worrying about something was akin to having a headache and banging your head against a wall to get rid of it. I can be an active headbanger but I have decided to stop worrying. I have decided to give up worry for Lent. Do you think that’s possible?

The famous comedienne George Burns once did a whole routine about worry. He said he gave up worry when he realized how futile it was. “It serves no purpose to worry about something you can’t do anything about and if you’re worried about something you can do something about, well just go do it!”

My paternal grandmother developed Alzheimer’s at a very young age. She died at the age of 72. I believe they first started to notice a change in behavior at the age of 55. I now bring communion for my church to an Alzheimer’s unit. Most of the residents are women. I began worrying about getting Alzheimer’s when I first heard it could be hereditary. I was in my early 30’s. I even considered getting some sort of long term care health insurance. I shared my concern with my young teenage daughter. Her response, “Oh, Mom, that’s so silly. By the time your that age, they’ll have a cure for it.” I stopped worrying. She was wrong, but it didn’t matter. I was able to let it go.

Worry can permeate our lives like a cancer, slowly growing without our ever recognizing the detrimental affect it is having. Not only does it undermine our sense of peace but physically it causes the body’s sympathetic nervous system to release stress hormones such as cortisol. It is natural to be concerned about our lives but there is a difference between concern and obsession. Once we become obsessed with a concern we are in a place that won’t allow us to clearly view our situation, we become muddled. It truly is a useless exercise, waisting so much of our precious energy. Sometimes, however, all the positive thinking in the world will not decrease your anxiety. There is a condition known as Generalized Anxiety Disorder and it is treatable with medication and cognitive behavioral therapy. It’s not always just in our mind, sometimes it’s chemical and in order to turn things around, one may need some additional assistance.

Last week a meteor, the size of a school bus, 10,000 tons with the power of an atomic bomb, landed in Russia. A number of people died. There were numerous videos of it streaking across the early morning skies. It appears all the cars in Russia have cameras on them to record any accident that takes place. The cameras are designed to act as a third, impartial witness. I couldn’t help wonder how many people that day were worrying about an asteroid landing on them? In my husband’s book, Humanity at Work, he tells the story of the fish and the pelican. There’s the fish swimming along watching out for the barracuda or some other predator when along comes a pelican and swoops it up, a creature from another universe totally foreign to the fish’s world. We have no idea what life is going to present us with, a meteor or perhaps a pelican. I felt like a meteor landed on my life when I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1999. I know I speak for many when I say that many of the physical diagnosis we receive come as total shocks. Sometimes they are conditions we have never even heard about. We may not even be able to pronounce them or perhaps we have heard about them but never considered they would affect us. Truly, if we really wanted to worry all the time, I’m sure we could make up lots of stuff. Actually, most of our worries are fantasy driven because we can never know what the future will bring, we can only guess. Let go of your concerns for the future, focus on the now.

This is one of the wonderful side effects of prayer and mediation. When we have a practice that brings us back to the present, we can use it in times of concern to recognize we have jumped off into the unknown and to bring ourselves back to the here and now. Prayer and the belief in a benevolent God can bring great peace.

In Conversation with God, Father Francis Fernandez addresses the passage from Matt 6:34, Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day’s own trouble be sufficient for the day. He goes on to say, “What matters is today. Worry magnifies the difficulties and diminishes our ability to fulfill the duty of the present moment. We can live only in the present. Anxieties almost always arise because we fail to put all our effort into the here and now.” If we believe we will be given the graces we need in order to contend with anything that crops up. We will be victorious!

Perhaps with continued practice, I will let go of worry. Perhaps I will even be able to celebrate in my friend’s trip to Cuba and instead of feeling anxious about it, send her along with heartfelt blessings and a vision of a wonderful adventure.

May 13, 2012 In Uncategorized

Faith or Fear, You Choose

Affirmation: I let go
of fear and anxiety.

The paper the technician handed me read, “We are pleased to inform you
that the results of your recent mammogram show no evidence of cancer.” I
had dodged another bullet. I had escaped
death once again. I could breathe a
little easier for another year. It had
been over a decade since I was treated for cancer but somehow it didn’t matter
on the morning I had my appointment.
It’s usually been a very early appointment. I have an hour’s drive and I have trouble
getting out of the house. I know
why. I have the same trouble getting to
the dentist on time. I was afraid. I was nervous. Mind you, I am not planning on getting cancer
again. Of course, I wasn’t planning on
getting it the first time. I know a lot
of people who carry around the worry of a cancer diagnosis, especially if
there’s a family history. My elderly
aunt had breast cancer and my father died of a brain tumor at the age of 62 but
I took really good care of myself. You
know, I ate right, I exercised and I monitored my thoughts. I never dreamed I’d have breast cancer. I was truly shocked when I was told the
diagnosis.

I have since discovered it’s not an unusual reaction. Many many people are simply rolling along
when they receive this diagnosis. The
truth is we should be less surprised to not receive some sort of health
challenge at some point in our lives rather than the other way around. One man who is a patient at the Preston
Robert Tish Brain Tumor Center told a group of us that he had a headache and
surprisingly woke up from it in the hospital.
He was a very robust man with an abundant amount of energy and a big
personality. He heard them saying,
“You have a brain tumor, a glioblastoma.” He laughed and said, “You’re talking to
the wrong person. You’ve made a
mistake.” But, they hadn’t.

These diagnoses are like terrorist’s attacks. One day you’re walking down the street and
BOOM, a bomb goes off. There might have
been a warning sign but many times there is not. One of my physicians
graciously told me that the cancer wasn’t anything I did or didn’t do; it was a
“random act of violence.” In
one way, that gave me a lot of comfort.
I didn’t need to find blame either within or without but it meant that I
was vulnerable to the whims of the world and with that thought, I found I felt
unsafe. It left me fearful. I wondered what else was going on inside my
body that I was totally unaware of? And,
I was afraid.

Fear can be a debilitating disease.
It can rob us of our joy, of some of our happiest moments. It can steal our whole lives from us if we
let it but how do we deal with it? When
I was invited to join my daughter-in-law on a trip to Ecuador, I didn’t
hesitate to say yes but I want to confess I was afraid. I have read many stories of people being
abducted in third world counties and taken off into the jungle, or worse and
being held for years and years. I knew
this fear of being kidnapped was irrational but was it? Maybe I simply wasn’t listening to my
spiritual guides who were telling me not to go?
But, I wasn’t going to miss this opportunity, so my guides and angels
had better step up and protect me. I was
also extra vigilant and extremely careful.
As I sat on the steps of the Virgin de Panecillo at the top of Quito
looking out over the evening lights of the whole city, I cried. I thought, “Fear might have kept me from
having this experience. How horrible
that would have been.” It wasn’t the first time I shed tears on that trip
and it wasn’t the last. It was an
amazing journey.

So, on that early Friday morning when I was heading off for my yearly
mammogram, I recognized the visitor who had arrived with the ringing of my
alarm clock. Fear was here. I recall the
first time I heard the phrase; Faith or fear.
It was in a sermon at a church I was visiting. It was one of those moments when I felt a
light go on. I knew exactly what the
priest was talking about. I had a
choice. How was I going to live my life? Well, I decided right then and there, I was
not going to have my life’s choices dictated by fear. And, I have been deciding that every day,
ever since. I have had to make it a
meditation. There are days, like on that
early Friday morning of my appointment when I had to decide moment to moment to
stay centered and calm. Deciding was the
easy part; making the choice, putting it into practice, well, that’s a whole
other story. Once again, I was faced with finding a way to live with Faith and
to let go of the fear. That’s when I
created the affirmation: “I let go
of fear and anxiety.” It’s evolved
over the years. I now not only focus on
the letting go of those emotions that don’t serve me; I now focus on
strengthening my Faith. I have several
affirmations that I say to increase my sense of well-being; to make me believe
that no matter what is happening, I am alright because my Faith is strong and
helping me stay in a good place.

I am now officially a “cancer survivor.” You actually get to
claim that title whenever you want.
There are no hard and fast rules.
A few years back my breast oncologist approached me with the concept of
creating a Survivorship Clinic which women like myself, women who were out of
treatment for several years and appeared to be doing well, would visit for
their yearly appointment, instead of seeing him. I agreed.
My visit at Duke this Friday morning was to be in this clinic with a
physician’s assistant who specialized in breast cancer treatment. It included an hour group session, the
mammogram and a full exam. Well, I
really didn’t need a group session.
There wasn’t really any more information I could gather. I was fine.
Right!

There I sat with six other people, only three patients and a
nutritionist, a breast oncologist and the PA.
The topics quickly turned to how to stay optimally healthy, what effect
a breast cancer diagnosis and treatment has on one’s long term health and what
our best choices might be. It was a
delightful morning, informative and empowering.
The other people in the group were very interesting. The information they shared was extremely
helpful. I invited a dear friend to join me for the mammogram appointment. We had a nice visit. Actually, I had a really good time. I was given that wonderful paper announcing
my cancer free breasts, I learned some new things, I had a wonderful exam and I
visited with a dear friend and met a few really interesting new people.

My daily affirmation to deal with the uncertainties of life focuses on
my faith in God. One, I tell myself
that, “When I stay focused on the present, my life is peaceful.” And, along with that I tell myself, daily,
sometimes moment to moment that, “Because of my relationship with my Lord
Jesus Christ, I can let go of fear and anxiety and fully trust in His loving
care for me.”

I made it back from Ecuador without being kidnapped. I made it through my yearly breast
appointment without a cancer diagnosis.
I know I will experience other challenges in my life, things I may not
even be able to imagine but with my focus on Faith, by letting go of the fear,
I hope that whatever life brings, I will have at some point in the experience
tears of joy and be saying to myself, “Fear might have kept me from having
this experience. How horrible that would
have been.”

April 25, 2012 In Uncategorized

Outward Bounds

Affirmation: I embrace stepping outside of my comfort zone.

I’m a
huge fan of the TV show Dancing with the Stars. I’ve been a fan since the very
beginning. I jokingly say it’s because there’s no sex, violence or foul
language. I can watch it with my grandchildren or my mother. How many shows are
out there that meet those qualifications? I also love to dance.

On the show, about a dozen celebrities learn to dance different ballroom dances with a professional dancer. They get to wear these sparkly, colorful, fun costumes and learn a new dance or two each week until the final week when one of the couples is declared the champion for that season and they get the famed Mirrorball Trophy. It’s such fun to see the people progress. I find it very inspirational. Sometimes there are celebrities who have serious disabilities but they don’t let that stop them. In 2011 TJ Martinez won the title. He was a wounded Iraq war veteran with serious burns to his whole body, including his face. He actually lost an ear in the explosion. Did that keep him from giving it his all? When I watched him dance and saw the joy that emanated from his whole being, I completely forgot about his disfigurement. I obviously wasn’t the only one because he was that year’s champion.

On
the show, about a dozen celebrities learn to dance different ballroom dances
with a professional dancer. They get to wear these sparkly, colorful, fun
costumes and learn a new dance or two each week until the final week when one
of the couples is declared the champion for that season and they get the famed
Mirrorball Trophy. It’s such fun to see the people progress. I find it very
inspirational. Sometimes there are celebrities who have serious disabilities
but they don’t let that stop them. In 2011 TJ Martinez won the title. He was a
wounded Iraq war veteran with serious burns to his whole body, including his
face. He actually lost an ear in the explosion. Did that keep him from giving
it his all? When I watched him dance and saw the joy that emanated from his
whole being, I completely forgot about his disfigurement. I obviously wasn’t
the only one because he was that year’s champion.

Sherri
Shephard, from the TV program The View was one of the contestants this year,
2012. She was determined to do well. She wasn’t a little lady and I could only
imagine how mentally and physically challenging it was for her to learn those
dances. She really wanted to win. She was traveling between the show she
regularly hosts in NY City and the Dancing show in Los Angeles. It must have
been a grueling schedule. I know she had all the advantages that money can
provide but it doesn’t lessen the hard work she had to put forth. She was
eliminated in week four. She cried and cried. But, before they could say
goodbye, she had something she wanted to share with the viewers. “If you don’t go towards the thing you fear, you won’t be
able to say you lived.” She went on to say that you should run towards that
thing you fear because what you’ll find on the other side, is simply amazing.

I mentioned to several of my friends that I was somewhat afraid
of my upcoming trip to South America. One of them said, “Oh, Jean, that’s
great! Because when you come home, you’ll feel so good about what you’ve done.”
I know she’s right. Her comment gave me a sense of optimism and excitement,
instead of dread and anxiety.

My husband and I did an Outward Bound in 2000. We spent 5 days
canoeing through the Everglades. Now, I want to share that I am a city girl. I
was raised in Queens, New York. Our home was on Grand Central Parkway. I mean,
right on it. I was riding the buses and the trains by myself by the time I was
10. The “country” was the property fenced in around the hospitals that bordered
our three block neighborhood. And now, I’ve been invited by my husband (born in
Brooklyn) to go on an Outward Bound. He was on the Outward Bound board and
thought this was a good idea. I got a tape about the Everglades. There were
snakes and alligators, not to mention other creepy crawly things. But this was
the year after I finished treatment for breast cancer and I figured if I could
go through that, I could probably canoe through the swamps. I invited a friend
to go with us and she was shocked, “What is the purpose of this excursion?”
Well, if you needed to ask that, I figured you really didn’t need to come
along.

So, we went. We brought along our son who was in his twenties
and our teenage daughter. The good news when we arrived was that we weren’t
going to be in the swamp, we were canoeing through the Thousand Islands. Whew!!
On our first night we had to create an island. We took boards from the bottom
of the canoes and lashed them together on top of the canoes. This was our
“home” for the night. My first night to ever sleep outside, outside under a sky
that had more stars than I had ever seen before. I learned a lot during those
days. I learned that my daughter was an amazing person. She never complained.
She just did whatever was needed, my son too. My husband was as kind and
gracious in the wild as he is in civilization and I learned that I could be an
indian or a chief. I could both follow and lead, whatever was required. And, I
learned that I could survive in a situation I never even imagined. Now, when
Sandy and I find ourselves doing something that’s challenging, outside of our
comfort zones, we refer to it as an “outward bound experience.” It’s funny how
often we find ourselves in that kind of a position. The purpose of going
outside of your comfort zone it to empower you, that’s the purpose. Life is
challenging, there’s no two ways about it. The only way to bolster your
confidence is to do those things that frighted you, “to run towards them” as
Sherri said. You not only receive the gift of empowerment, many times you find
joy and fulfillment from making your way to a whole new place.

Fear is a debilitating disease. I believe we make more decisions
based on fear than any other reason. It needs to be recognized and overcome.
There’s a wonderful tale about a guru who treks all over the land, sharing his
wisdom and compassion. One day, he decides to return home. When he walks into
his house, he is met by several huge ferocious monsters. They are drooling and
their fangs are bared. He looks at them and asks, “Why are you here? What is it
that you need?” and half of them disappear. He then asks the others, “Why are
you here? Is there something I can do for you?” and they disappear, all except
one. He is the biggest and the most frightening of all of them. He is growling
and hissing and drooling but the guru is calm. He goes up to the monster and he
puts his head into his mouth and with that, the monster evaporates.

This is the challenge; to face our fears with love and
compassion, to put our heads into the monsters of life. Sometimes we get to
choose our outward bounds and sometimes they are thrust upon us but if we have
faced those events that take us out of ourselves and we’ve survived, we will be
as prepared as possible for those events that we never even imagined.

April 7, 2012 In Uncategorized

Keeping Out of the Cave of Phantoms

Affirmation: When I stay focused on the present moment, my life is richer and less stressful.

A trip looms in the future, a trip to another continent, a third world country. I know how lucky I am to have this opportunity and I am excited about it but if I am I not vigilant I walk into the “cave of phantoms” and it is both dark and frightening.

I am no stranger to fear and anxiety. I can clearly remember the first time it raised its ugly head and entered into my life. I was an older student returning to UNC to do a Masters in Social Work. I have never considered myself to be a gifted student. My accomplishments come more from a gift of perseverance and perhaps even the naive assumption that I can do anything if I decide to do it and stick to it. So, I took a bunch of baby steps to arrive in this Master’s program.

My first step was to sign up for a GRE review course. Other than the fee, there was nothing intimidating about it. I was simply going to see what I might learn. It was fun. So, I thought, “I’ll take the exam. Why not?” And, to my amazement I did pretty well. “Well, I might as well apply to a program.” I had a dear friend who had just gotten her MSW and the subject was of great interest to me. I filled in the application for the part time program and within a short period of time, I was accepted. I later learned they had hundreds of applications. They accepted 23 people and I was one of them. There I sat that first day with 22 other people all of whom seemed to have been in the field before. I had been a math major and a teacher. What was I doing here? But, I believed God had a plan for me. I didn’t have a clue what it was but I was willing to be His/Her tool and it appeared a door had opened and I chose to step through. It took me five years to complete the degree but I did it.

But, being back in school with all the tests, assignments and internships (62 credit hours) and final exams, took its toll on me. I would have days when I felt like I’d had ten cups of coffee but I hadn’t. I’d awaken shaking inside and all my tools that I’d developed over the years didn’t seem to help in anyway. I actually experienced several anxiety attacks but lucky for me, I was studying exactly what I was dealing with and so I could easily diagnose myself and get help. Since then, anxiety had visited me on (and luckily) off many times. I see it. I know it but so often, I can do nothing to alleviate it except to know, it will pass. Then, I saw a television commercial about the end of the world.

The rumor is the world is ending (again) when the Mayan calendar ends, December 21, 2012. The commercial was for retirement insurance and it pointed out that if the world was ending as predicted, you didn’t need insurance but just in case it isn’t, you might want to still be prepared.

I fully recognize that I am mortal. Besides being a cancer survivor and being an active part of both the Duke Cancer Patient Support and the Preston Robert Tisch Brain Tumor Advisory Boards, I was a Hospice patient care volunteer and did my first MSW internship with Hospice of Wake County. I lost my father when I was 36 and all of these factors have combined to create in me a heightened sense of awareness that I may be only one breath away from the next life. I try to keep that thought with me at all times for both myself and for my loved ones.

So, when the insurance commercial came on it really made an impact on me. I don’t know why perhaps it was simply the way it was portrayed; it was whimsical and silly but it also presented a very real possibility. We are spinning through space on one of billions of planets among billions of solar systems. We’ve all seen the disaster movies about comets hitting the earth, or the sun getting too close or too far or our axis slightly tilting and sending us all floating into outer space. It’s true. Any day now, the planet could implode or even more likely, we could die in a car crash or some other common accident.

If you ever get a chance, go to the Newseum in Washington, DC. It is six floors of everything pertaining to the news as it was and as we now know it. It’s filled with fascinating exhibits and interactive experiences. On the main floor is the antennas from the top of the south building of the World Trade Center and on the wall are the front pages of all the major newspapers announcing the events of September 11, 2001. There’s a reminder that we don’t have a clue what’s facing us from moment to moment, no less far out into the future.

The Buddhist tells us to “imagine the glass broken.” He reminds us that life as we know it is fragile and temporary. It’s not morbid. It brings us a greater realization of the preciousness of what we have. We need to treasure it.

Now, whenever anxiety arises I think only of the present moment. I completely let go of the unknown or perhaps dreaded future. Why should I be anxious or worry about something that may never take place. Not that I will necessarily die and my future will end but I can only plan for whatever it is I want to happen, after that my future, my days are in the hands of God. I haven’t got a clue what they will bring and because of that thought, I find myself at peace. The anxiety seeps away. I recall Shakespeare, “Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once.” Yes, I may be here for another 30 years or more. The world may last for centuries to come but none of that is any concern of mine. The future is just that, a world unknown and I will not allow myself to be afraid of the phantoms I may never meet.

January 7, 2012 In Uncategorized

Manifesting the New Year

Affirmation: I am always manifesting; I manifest to my highest and best.

The beginning of a new year can be filled with mixed feelings and expectations. Many years ago the cartoon For Better or For Worse had a New Year’s Day cartoon of Elizabeth, the young daughter, opening her new calendar and exclaiming “I can’t wait to put down all the wonderful things that will happen.” If I were to closely examine my reaction to a new year it would not necessarily be filled with the expectation of delightful events. I find I must be very aware of the feeling of dread that can present itself as I look forward to the future especially if I am dealing with post Christmas let-down. It takes a conscientious effort to turn my thinking around and to prepare myself for the delights that I am sure are waiting for me. Once again, I am faced with the choice of Faith or Fear.

I truly believe we manifest our own realities. I am always manifesting and I want to manifest to my highest and best. I don’t like to leave the quality of my life to chance. There are always things I can be working on that will enrich my life. One of my practices of many years is to take time at the beginning of the new year and to decide what’s important to me and what I’d like to see manifest itself. I do this by looking at the different aspects of my life and seeing what I want to emphasize and concentrate on.

I divide my life into several categories. Certainly, you can choose any that might work for you but mine are: Spiritual, Physical, Mental, Family & Friends, Material, Community and Financial. I set intentions and create affirmations for each section.

Spiritual: For example, one of my intentions is to meditate daily. I write: I meditate once a day for at least 20 minutes. Another Spiritual desire is to increase my faith so I write: I pray daily and I attend church weekly. I participate in my Small Christian Community and look for other opportunities to participate in events that will increase my faith.

Physical: My intention here is to be of optimal health. What steps do I need to take that will lead to that state? I write: I fine tune my diet by eating clean at least 80% of the time. I look for fun ways to exercise. I do some form of exercise daily.

Mental: I know I am either green and growing or ripe and rotten. I read a wonderful news article about a 93 year old man who recently learned to read and write. He then went on to publish a book. That’s my intention; to be learning as long as I’m alive. So I write: I look for opportunities that help me grow. I am studying the fiddle, Spanish and doing a crossword a day. I am open to all learning opportunities: travel, classes, lectures, documentaries, and new people and experience.

Family & Friends: When it comes to my Family and Friends category, I usually focus on what I’d like the most if they were considering me and try to create that intention for themselves. I would like more of their time and attention. So I write: I carve out a regular time to spend with each of my loved ones and look for opportunities when we can share experiences.

Material: I include the Material category because I feel we live in a material world and it needs to be addressed. In the past I’ve focused on living in a different house or perhaps making the house I live in, different, lighter, brighter, more comfortable. This year I write: I only keep the things I love and use and let go of the rest.

Community: Community is essential to everyone’s well being. I write: I volunteer my time, treasure and talent to help those who are within my power to be of help to. I focus my talents on projects that I know make a positive difference in the lives of others. I enjoy sharing my home with my friends and family and look for opportunities to do so.

Financial: I attract financial prosperity. I look for opportunities that increase our income and that decrease our expenses.

I don’t review them regularly. I have found that there is great power in simply writing out my intentions and then letting them marinate. I usually review last year’s at the beginning of the New Year. I am always fascinated by how many of the intentions have come to fruition; fascinated and grateful that I took the time to work on manifesting the year ahead. What do you want your New Year to manifest? Claim some time, give it some thought and put it on paper. Fill in your calendar now before the year starts. Fill it in with all the things you want it to hold: joy, love, hope, peace, great health, adventure. It’s yours; it’s waiting for you to claim it and to manifest it.