Jean Anne Costa
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Jean A. Costa / Posts tagged "Jean Anne Costa"
September 16, 2015 In Affirmations, Compassion

Have Courage and Be Kind

Affirmation: I live a Christ centered life of love, hope, peace, gratitude and compassion.

LouisePenny26BookLouise Penny, the author of the crime novels about Three Pines, Canada and Inspector Gamache came to Meredith College in September of this year, 2015 to promote her newest book, The Nature of the Beast. It’s her twelfth book in this series. The auditorium was full. I guessed there to be about 300 people there. I became a fan a few years back when one of the women in my book group, Anne Brill, recommended Mrs. Penny’s work. My husband, Sandy and I like to listen to a good book if we have an extended drive and I purchased The Beautiful Mystery for us several years ago. We were immediately hooked. We can’t wait for our next long trip to delve into the newest novel and to be reunited with the inspector and the rest of our new “friends.”

ScreenShot2015-09-16at11.59.32AMLouise didn’t really speak about her books because she said she might give away some of the story line which she felt would interfere with her reader’s enjoyment. Instead she spoke about her
journey to becoming a successful writer. It wasn’t an unusual story. It took her a long time and required quite a bit of stamina and also a few serendipitous events. One event revolved around a fundraiser in a foreign country where she met her publisher, the only person with whom she had an encounter during the whole night. Her whole story was interesting but the message with which I came away was about “kindness.”

She said she modeled the inspector after her husband. If you’ve read any of her work you will know the inspector is a wonderful man. He is a family man, he cares deeply about his coworkers and he rises above the call of duty to a place of kindness and compassion. What a gift to have someone in your life like that, and especially the person with whom you’ve chosen to spend your life. I know it’s a gift because I too have a husband like that. When she spoke about the qualities these men exemplify she focused on kindness. It was a short sentence but it emphasized to
me the power of words. “It is easier to be mean than it is to be kind.” Well, I thought, isn’t that the truth!

Don’t you love it when the same message repeats itself in your life? Why, I wonder am I hearing this concept on a regular basis. What is God or simply the Universe trying to tell me? What more am I to learn? Over the last two weeks the phrase, “have courage and be kind” has appeared two more times. I bet you didn’t know that those were Cinderella’s mother’s last words to Ella. Disney’s latest adaptation of the famous fairytale added that phrase. In this edition, Cinderella wasn’t simply saved by the handsome prince, they chose to empower her with qualities that enabled her to change her life and still be compassionate. Thank heavens!

It seems to me it’s so much easier for people to be spiteful, to be right, to be “all about me and not about you.” We all recognize when we are being treating kindly. Are we called to be kind to everyone? It seems we are. We are even called to be kind to our enemies. What does that look like? Does it take more energy to be kind than mean or indifferent? Maybe it just takes a
different kind of energy. I believe it certainly takes a more conscientious effort to rise to the higher good than to sink to the lowest common denominator.

Kindness is a close relative of compassion. Many of the messages I’ve received lately in several of my readings have revolved around my responsibility to show compassion for the marginalized and suffering of the world. Compassion is kindness put into action. I believe as I age that responsibility becomes even greater. This is a time in my life when I have the luxury of having more time and how I use that time is very important. I want to leave this world a better place than I found it. I must confess there are many days when I look around and can’t even imagine what steps I can take
to help the world. It helps for me to recognize that I support several projects that reach out beyond my normal sphere of influence to the benefit of those who need exceptional help. I really can’t help the whole world but I can do some things that makes a difference or can I?

Starfish-1Do you know the story about the boy who is throwing starfish into the ocean? A man comes along and asks him what he’s doing and he explains he’s saving lives. The man laughs and tells him he’s wasting his time; he can’t possible save all the starfish. It’s not making a difference. The boy picks up another starfish and throws it into the ocean and says, “Well, I made a difference to that one.” My sister, Gloria Hafner, was a specialized reading teacher in NY. She took one or two students at a time and helped them learn to read at or above age level. She always told anyone who would listen about her work and that she had, “made a difference to that one.”

Pope-and-Ecuadorian-woman-2015-1At the time of this entry Pope Francis is about to come to the United States. There has been a lot of publicity revolving around his visit. His approach to the world is causing quite a stir. He seems to me to be filled with love and compassion. He wants us all to fill ourselves with these intentions and then to put them into action. He doesn’t want to hear excuses and he doesn’t want or be our judge or jury. He is encouraging everyone to hear the message of Jesus and to go forward to make the world a better place. I personally find his message and his example to be refreshing, inspirational and challenging.

One of my efforts revolves around my belief in the power of prayer. I pray the Rosary daily for those “who most need God’s mercy.” I am trusting that my prayers seep out into the universe and relieve someone’s pain and suffering. It seems to me there is so much anguish. Perhaps the world is always like it is now and we simply see it more clearly because of the media but what is taking place especially at this time with the refugees from Syria and Africa is beyond tragic.

Miracles-1One of the conversations I’ve had recently revolved around energy and our ability to influence it. The scientist I spoke with didn’t believe there was such a thing and that the only reason there was any sort of change was due to a placebo effect. I didn’t feel qualified to argue with him but I left feeling very sad. He didn’t believe in mystery. He only believed in “mastery.” He only seemed to believe in what he could see and touch and prove. I am sure he is not alone but I need “mystery.” I need to believe that there is more to this life than what I perceive.

I don’t believe there will ever be any definite proof that our thoughts and prayers change the world but I truly believe they do. I actually embrace the mystery and imagine one day when I am no longer physically part of this world, being shown how the time and effort I made to send help to others through prayer manifested itself. It’ll be my judgment day. I’ll see where I failed to rise to the level of a higher plane and where I truly made a difference because I cared and was willing to take the time and make an effort to pray.

Maybe that’s why lately the words, “courage” and “kind” are appearing together. It may be harder to be kind than mean and kindness is a very important quality to practice but it takes courage to be compassionate. It takes the ability to “suffer with” another and that is very hard. It’s so much easier to turn off the TV or to turn away from the homeless and hungry. Pope Francis and now even
Disney are calling all of us to step outside of our comfort zone and find a way to help those in need. Perhaps it will be with prayer. Perhaps it will be only to reach out to one person, someone for whom we can claim, “it made a difference to that one.”

ScreenShot2015-09-16at12.25.49PM

September 21, 2014 In Affirmations

Being a Victim

Affirmation:  I rest in the inquiry. I stand in my
power.
The young woman named Dina (She
was one of our tour directors.) was giving the description about Austria and
she was clever and quite funny.  She came
from Vienna and because of that I felt very comfortable when she described a
“typical” Austrian.  “We
are a people who always feel like we are being victimized.  Tell me a tale about one of your problems and
I will tell you one about myself that is worse than yours.  We have a black cloud always hovering above
us.  The good news is we don’t take
ourselves too seriously, so we can laugh at our problems.”  I was fascinated.  I wondered why the Austrian people had this
impression about their lives.  Was it
nature or nurture?  Certainly they had
been through some terrible times.  The
tales we heard about the experiences of the people of Eastern Europe were
beyond sad and extremely disturbing.  I
wondered if all the people in countries that had experienced horrible
historical eras had the same general sense of being victims?  What about Russia, Estonia, Slovakia, Hungary,
Poland, North Korea or Japan?  How about
Vietnam?  What about the mid-east or some
parts of Africa?  Do the people in all of
these areas of the world feel like victims. 
I don’t like to classify an entire
population into one category but certain characteristics do seem more prevalent
in some cultures than in others.  For
instance when my husband, Sandy and I traveled through Ireland, we discovered
the Irish people love to help lost travelers. 
They certainly loved helping us. 
We were always lost and they couldn’t do enough to get us back on the
right road.  We stopped to talk to one
fellow out in the county side who stopped mowing his lawn to give us directions
and just about invited us in for tea. 
I’m sure if I named a nationality, you would come up with an adjective
or two that you believe described them. 
How about the Italians, the Japanese, the Germans, or the Latinos?  Did a couple of words pop up for you?
There have been times in my life
when I could have felt like a victim.  I
remember people asking me if I wondered why I had developed breast cancer.  Did I rail at God, “Why me,
Lord?”  No, I did not.  It never occurred to me to even ask that
question. Dr. Mark Graham told me it wasn’t anything I did or did not do; it was a “random act of violence.”  That might have made me feel even more

vulnerable, but
for some reason it may have brought me a sense of peace. The thought came to me
after listening to our guide that I probably don’t have any Austrian blood in
me.  I couldn’t imagine living a life
where I always went around feeling victimized. 
How would that improve the quality of my life?  I think I’d be a real grump and a very
unhappy person.  It certainly wouldn’t
fit in with my concept of creating an intentional life, a life of peace and
love, joy, compassion and gratitude. However, upon more careful consideration,
I realized there have been many times in my life when I found myself feeling
powerless, small and insignificant.  At
those moments I did not step up and out. 
I did not claim my power and even in the midst of “random
acts” we still have choices.  We
still have the opportunity to decide how we perceive our situation and what we
are going to do or not do.   

I asked Dina, sometimes referred
to as “Dina Marie” and her coworker, Scott, whose home is in China, if
in their travels they had noticed this victimization attitude in other
countries where the people had experienced years of suffering and
repression.  They said they hadn’t really
thought about it.  The documentary The
Singing Revolution takes place in Estonia. 
It was an excellent film depicting life in Estonia through the last
hundred years and it presented a people who even though they were suffering,
decided to continue their ancient tradition of a mass sing-along.  It presented a picture of hope and positive
behavior even during these more than difficult times.  
I’ve read and watched a lot of stories about
WW I and WW II and about man’s inhumanity towards man, especially about the
horrors committed against the Jewish people. 
As we traveled through Eastern Europe and listened to the guides
describe the situations which caused the deaths of so many people, thousands
upon thousands, or through which they lived, I began to understand why the
people in these countries would still feel a sense of travesty and
powerlessness. To be completely honest,

however, I know, with a capital
“K” that I have never experienced the repression and torment that so
many in the world have in the past or are presently experiencing.  I probably cannot even imagine the horrors
that are taking place.  On our last
evening of this trip, Scott, also affectionately know as “Scotty Boy”
left us all with this advice, “Now that you have traveled this part of the
world, maybe the next time you see or hear of something distressing that they
are experiencing, you will feel a deeper connection, a greater sense of
compassion.”  He mentioned that one
way to break down the barriers of prejudice and hatred is to be exposed to another’s
culture.  I am hoping that faced with such
struggle, I could muster enough strength perhaps because of my relationship
with my God, that I would not perceive my situation as hopeless.

The lesson here for me is that we
always have a choice about how we want to perceive our situation. The more I
thought about this feeling of being a victim, the more I realized it is not
unusual for people to perceive themselves as victims even if they have never
lived in a war torn country.  As far as
the people I know most have lived in the US and are part of the blessed
minority like myself who have not gone through the horrors of war and
oppression.  The people I’ve met who perceive
themselves as victims, are the people who believe that whatever happens to them
is totally beyond their control; there in nothing they can do about it.  They don’t or can’t recognize that even in
the most dire of situations we can choose to believe that we at some point can
affect change.  Our sense of purpose and
power lies within us, not beyond our control. 
Daily we are called up to look at our attitudes and to examine our
beliefs and then to rise up and to claim our power.  If we practice daily, in the smaller things
of life, perhaps if and when we are faced with the larger, more daunting events
we will be able to “rest in the inquiry and stand in our power.”
April 15, 2013 In Yoga

The Fragile Ego

Affirmation:  I have a childlike ego.
The yoga teacher took us from Warrior II into Side Angle.  The pose requires you to bend your front leg and lean over it and rest your forearm on your thigh.  Normally, your palm is faced downward.  “Turn your palm up” she said, “pretend you are holding something fragile, perhaps your ego.”  I laughed out loud.  This is why I practice yoga.  I look everywhere for those messages that will enrich my life.  I search every day for those insights that will enable me to know myself better so that I may live a fuller, more meaningful existence.  This day, it came to me from my teacher, Karin Johnson, at Rex Wellness here in Cary, NC.  How fragile is my ego?

One day while attending a class we were encouraged to go into an asana known as Crow.  In this pose you squat down with your feet and knees wide and your palms between your legs, flat on the ground.  You are then suppose to raise up onto your palms while balancing your thighs against your upper arms.  I’ve done this pose.  It’s not easy and requires upper body strength as well as balance.  Another reason I practice yoga is to take me out of my comfort zone.  When I attempt a pose that I know does not come easily, it makes me feel brave.  It’s brave with a small “b” but it empowers me when I’m out in the world to be brave, sometimes even “Brave.”  I took the position and slowly raised up onto my palms and then fell straight over onto my nose.  I fell with a very loud “whack!”  This particular yoga class had about thirty people in it and I know everyone of them heard the sound of my flop.  I hoped they were so involved in trying their own pose that they didn’t look up but I was sure everyone was looking at me, if just to make sure I was still alive.

 “Yoga is not a competitive sport.”  I start most of my classes with that statement.  “Bring you attention to your mat, into your body.”  The purpose of yoga is to unite the mind and the body.  I usually add, “and the spirit.”  I believe when we only focus on the physical aspect of the practice, we deny ourselves the real essence of yoga.  When we practice we are called to be present, to stay in the moment.  That’s the reason the ancient yogis initially came up with all these contortions.  It’s almost impossible to stand on one leg with your hands high in the air, Tree pose, and to be thinking about anything other than what you are doing in that moment.  You are fully present.  It’s a gift.  It’s the main lesson of the practice, stay in the here and the now.  Once you learn to do that on your mat, it too is something you can take out into the world and practice in your everyday life.  

I was lucky and my fall didn’t result in a broken or bloody nose but it did result in a dented ego.  Most of the class knows I am a Registered Yoga Teacher and I pride myself on my ability to do some of the more advanced positions and there was my lesson.  I was prideful.  I am always telling people, “Anyone can do yoga.”  But, the response I usually get is that they are not flexible enough.  What they are really saying is unless I’m already good at something, I am not willing to try it.  Our egos have become the wall that keeps us imprisoned in our small comfortable space.  Whenever I think of that fall while attempting the Crow pose, I laugh.  It was a wonderful lesson.  It was humbling and it was exactly what I needed to learn from that day’s practice.  

Recently I attended the NC Senior Follies.  One of my fiddle buddies, Constance Belton, is the teacher and choreographer of the line dancing team, The Cary Cure Alls.  She and six other women did a mock strip tease to the song Fever.  They came out in scrubs and white coats with caps on their heads, surgical gloves and wearing stethoscopes and began to remove one item at a time while they tap danced.  (Look them up on YouTube.) They won one of the Gold Medals and were the overall champions.  There were about a dozen different acts.  Some of the seniors sang, some played musical instruments and one group call themselves The Shakers.  They are the Senior Game cheerleaders.  The event was pure fun.  

After being told to “hold my fragile ego gently in my palm.” I began to think of all those other times when my ego prevented me from fully experiencing life.  I wondered when did that begin?  Certainly, as a child I wasn’t afraid to try new things.  If that were true, one would never learn to walk or to talk.  One would never learn anything!  Those amazing seniors had put away their egos in order to go onto the stage and share their skills.  That’s another secret to a full, rich, fun filled life; hold your ego gently and don’t let it prevent you from trying something new, something at which you might not be good, something at which you might be terrible but who cares!  Life is too short not to experience it all.  Gently place your ego down and live life like a child whose is first exploring their world.

I heard a story about an older successful executive who was with a group of people when the topic turned to, “What have you always wanted to do that you haven’t yet done.”  He told the group he always wanted to try tap dancing.  That evening he looked up dance studios in his area and the next day he began his lessons.  He loved it!  For all I know, he’s out there somewhere competing in his local Senior Follies.  For me, well maybe I’ll try standing on my head in my next yoga class, maybe!    
October 21, 2012 In Uncategorized

Reach Your Full Potential

Affirmation:  I encourage my loved ones to reach their full potential.

This week I am sharing what my husband of many years wrote about his 2012 experience at the JCC Folk School.  I am so excited to know he has decided to use his hands more often to get in touch with his creative self.  I usually have a whole list of things for him on the weekends, all of which involve some sort of “hands on” activity.   I can’t wait to tell him my affirmation and encourage him to reach his full potential.  I know he’ll be so excited!

“Look at what I made!” The Hand Teaches the Mind Many Useful Things

Posted on October 13, 2012by

Last week I made the wooden bowl pictured here. Crafting this bowl is one of my most satisfying accomplishments in quite some time. It’s also a surprise that I could actually do it, adding to the pleasure and humor of the thing. At this point you may be saying to yourself, “This poor guy has lived a pretty shallow, uninteresting life.” But hear me out. The point is that I made the bowl with my hands.
Jean Anne and I have just returned from our annual pilgrimage to the John C. Campbell Folk School, at Brasstown, North Carolina, in the Blue Ridge Mountains, far from the city. The school is one of the most creative learning centers in the country. Based on the Danish folk school model, it was founded in 1925 by John Campbell’s wife, Olive. Today it provides year-round weeklong and weekend classes for adults in craft, art, music, dance, cooking, gardening, nature studies, photography, and writing. As the school’s literature says, students’ experiences “in non-competitive learning and community life are joyful and enlivening”–exactly what we needed!
Folk schools are non-competitive, allowing students to learn at their own rate. As the website explains, “The folkehojskole (folk school) had long been a force in the rural life of Denmark. These schools-for-life helped transform [the people of] the Danish countryside into a vibrant, creative force. The Campbells . . . establish[ed] such a school in the rural southern United States as an alternative to the higher-education facilities that drew young people away from the family farm.”
This year I took a course in wood turning. I was taught by two highly skilled instructors how to carve a bowl out of a quartered log, a piece of wood in all ways similar to countless pieces of fuel I feed to our wood-burning stove with nary a thought. Another thing that was so remarkable is that at first I couldn’t imagine where the bowl “resided in” the piece of wood. Slowly, by starting out on the project though feeling I was working somewhat in the dark, I learned to see. And I recalled that after Michelangelo had completed his “David,” he was asked to explain how he’d taken a raw block of marble and carved the elegant yet strong figure of the young man. “He was in there,” the sculptor replied. “As I carved the marble away, piece by piece, I simply set him free—and there he stands.”
I chuckled to myself at that thought, knowing my 3-D imaginative gifts were far from the Italian master’s. But as I worked on the lathe, learning patience and focus, slowly finding the bowl’s best nature and adapting my hand and eye to what in nature that might be, I found myself becoming engrossed in the activity. I was soon completely caught in the moment. And I started to see, too, how therapeutic it is to work with your hands, bringing your own hands and eyes, your own energy into harmony with nature’s energy.

There is a frequent match play—a verbal game, where we fence about unanswerable, and in most cases highly impractical, questions—“What is more difficult, more trying, to work with your hands or be making a living in a manner that is less physical, more brainy?” My answer is who cares? Particularly because there is a cultural elitism that believes folks who work with their hands are a notch below cerebral wage-earners. Rather, I suggest that a more rewarding exploration would be to reflect on which type of work is more nurturing? And, following on that, how can we make the other type of work, the head-centered kind, more nurturing too?
Understand that I am not suggesting that we slide out of our current vocations and apprentice to a blacksmith or a cobbler or a wheelwright. What I am suggesting is that instead of relying on the latest self-help book to right a teetering psyche via reading the book, a mental activity, let’s think about making a quilt or binding a book—really! When Charles Darwin was worrying over a difficult issue, he would go into his garden and weed the flower beds. Winston Churchill built stone fences when his decisions and responsibilities were weighing too heavily. Surely you know countless individuals who have been eager to retire into a more intensive study and practice of their favorite hobby, often one that caused them to create things with their eyes and hands in concert.
The fact is that working with our hands is one of the most powerful forms of meditation I can imagine. When you turn wood as it spins on the lathe and your cutting tool unearths the layers of cellulose fibers, you see a constantly changing symphony of rings. Colors appear against a background as you discover embedded knots and imperfections. Can you imagine a more magical way to employ your hands and your mind! And all of this benefit is without even mentioning the obvious: at the end of the project, you have made something new, something fine that wasn’t there before; and since you are now an artisan, not an artist, the new creation is beautiful and useful.
Because of my experience at the folk school, I’ve come to see that the best way to flourish at your thought-work daily is to make sure you take time daily, or perhaps for a good part of the weekend, to work with your hands. If your business has a mission of understanding more closely the world or some aspect thereof while improving the lives of others—and whose does not?—then work toward completing that mission by sculpting, building, making something every week. Here’s why: J. Bronowski, in his 1973 book The Ascent of Man, writes that “Discovery is a double relation of analysis and synthesis together. As an analysis, it probes for what is there; but then, as a synthesis, it puts the parts together in a form by which the creative mind transcends the bare limits, the bare skeleton, that nature provides. . . . Thus, we have to understand that the world can only be grasped by action, not by contemplation” or intellectual problem-solving at our desks or in conference. “The hand is more important than the eye,” Bronowski concludes.

As I turned the lathe and carved my bowl last week, I was practicing bringing together analysis and synthesis of sensed data—wood, carving tool, force, motion, my hand in time—to make and do something—learning a practice that will help me to do a better and healthier job daily in what some people call my real work. But now I know that there’s more to preparing for that work than I thought. Plus, Jean Anne and I have a light-filled wooden bowl to use in our house.

August 12, 2012 In Uncategorized

Dancing for Life

Affirmation:  I smile early, laugh daily, dance often.

In most cultures
dance is an integral part of life.  Here
in the United States one must make a greater effort to find the opportunity to
dance.  Lately in the media there’s more
about dance than in the last fifty years. There’s Dancing with the Stars and
there’s So You Think You Can Dance.  Even
the 2012 Olympic Gold Medal winner, Ryan Lochte is interested in dancing.  When he was interviewed on Good Morning
America he said he would like the opportunity to compete on Dancing with the
Stars.  And, too, Hope Solo, the 2012
goalie of the Gold Medal Olympic soccer team competed in 2011 on Dancing with
the Stars.  And, the Olympic Gold
Medalist Apolo Ohno speed skating champion, danced his way to the Mirror Ball
Trophy.
Now too, we have
all sorts of dance exercise.  The gym I
go to, Rex Wellness of Cary has had a Latin dance class for many years and of
course there’s aerobics which usually has some sort of upbeat tunes.  As of this writing, Zumba has become very
popular.  And, most yoga classes have
music in the background.
Yoga is not
normally thought of as a form of dance exercise but I have always felt the
vibrations and the rhythm of the music as I practiced the asanas.  When I trained at Kripalu Center for Yoga and
Healing we had several wonderful classes that included live drum music. The
Dance Yoga concept (formerly Dance Kinetics) was actually developed at Kripalu.
At the Pink Ribbon Yoga Retreat Saturday evenings are celebrated with Yoga
Dance.
TJ Martin, one of
our gifted yoga teachers and a founding member of the retreat, has led us in
Yoga Dance for the last eight years.  Of
course, there are many different reactions to our dance event.  Some, like myself, can’t wait.
In The Artist’s
Way, Julia Cameron asks you to imagine what you would like to do if you had
several other lives.  It’s a fun exercise
to see what you might be missing that you could actually do in this life.  I would have loved to be more actively involved
in the world of dance.  There have been
times in my life when the music led me to total abandonment.  I love going shopping with my granddaughter,
Isabelle, because she’ll just smile if she sees me dancing about in the store,
unlike my children, who I am sure were mortified by their mother’s lack of
decorum. 
Many of the women
who come to the retreat have been there before but everyone has had that
initial introduction to our evening of Yoga Dance.   TJ does a marvelous job of explaining how
the session is structured.  She explains
that each of the songs are designed to open one of the seven chakras, energy
centers of the body.  A yoga practice
with or without dance can aid in opening the energy centers. The seven chakras
begin at the base of the spine, the Root Chakra and run through the body to the
top of the head, the Crown Chakra. 
Envision a stream of energy or light, moving up through your body,
flowing freely, keeping everything open and clean and soft.  Ancient yoga tradition teaches when the chakras
are opened and aligned, we are balanced and in a state that encourages optimal
health.
TJ brings some
props too.  She brings feather boas and
mesh scarves.  Some of the women bring
coin skirts.  At our last retreat two of
the returning ladies came to the evening session a little late.  They attempted to come in quietly so as to
not disturb the group, the only issue was they had on their coin skirts and had
added bell bracelets and anklets.  They
also were in full flowing skirts and had silk flowers in their hair.  The fun had begun!
TJ begins our evening by inviting us to sit on
our mats.  We move slowly at first.  One of the songs for the 1st chakra is
Breathe.  Then she invites us to stand up
and we move to songs like Feeling Good by Michael Buble. Then the energy begins
to increase and for the 3rd chakra we get to dance to Shake Your Body and New
Attitude for example.  The next set of
songs include songs like We Are Family, Walk of Life, You Raise Me Up and Loka
Samasta. Can you hear it?  Can you feel
it?  Finally, we’re ready to wind down
and we do that to songs like The Empty Sky.
Yoga dance is one
of the healing modalities we offer for the retreat.  One year one of the participants did not seem
to connect with anyone or anything that was being offered.  We would find her sitting in the living room
watching TV while everyone else was chatting. 
She wasn’t very interested in the art projects and her favorite yoga
pose was savasana.  And, then during Yoga
Dance we reached the songs for the 3rd chakra.    I happened to be directly across from her
when the music began and it was one of the most astonishing things I have ever
seen.  A grin came to her face, she lit
up from within and she began to dance with total abandonment.  She didn’t stop until we were ready to lie
down.  Her enthusiasm and love of music
took her to a place during the retreat that nothing else was able to
accomplish.  From then on, she was an
integral part of the group.  People took
the time to tell her how much they enjoyed watching her and dancing with
her.
There have also
been women who refused to dance.  I try
not to judge but I wasn’t always successful. 
But if they return, sooner or later (sometimes years later) something
happens and I will look up and there they will be moving and smiling, and many
times laughing.  It is so very
joyful.  It is so very healing.
I believe we can
enhance our health by sometimes tricking our bodies to think we are feeling
good.  I once read a story about a man
who played the music for silent films. 
He was asked if it was hard to play music that went with the feelings of
the scenes.  He answered he didn’t
concern himself with that.  The music he
chose created the emotions the viewers experienced.
If you’re sad and
you don’t want to be, smile.  If you’re
feeling blue and you don’t want to be, laugh. 
And, if you want to fully embrace life and go a little crazy, turn on
the music and dance.
“Dance as though no one is watching you,

Love as though you have never been hurt
before,

Sing as though no one can hear you,

Live as though heaven is on earth.”  Dr. William W. Purkey

August 8, 2012 In Uncategorized

Miraculous Happenings

Affirmation:
My
life is Joy filled, Miracles occur, Love surrounds me and permeates every
aspect of my existence.

We all know that
in the classic Alice in Wonderland, Alice jumps down a rabbit hole into a whole
other unknown, full of adventure, self-examining world.  Sometimes we are pushed down that hole and
sometimes we choose to jump but either way, we get to decide what we’ll learn
and what we’ll take away from our experiences.


After being
treated for breast cancer in 1999, I was left feeling very unsure of what I
should be doing for myself.  During the
intense treatment, which for me lasted almost a year, I was well cared for and
in constant contact with my doctors and other caregivers.  Then the day came when I was
“released.” I had had my last radiation treatment.  We, the family and I, actually threw an
“end of radiation celebration.” Sure, I was scheduled for follow up
mammograms and yearly checkups but other than that I was on my own.  Yes, in many ways we are always “on our
own” as we go through cancer but for me, being released, while a reason
for celebration, was also very scary.  I
began looking for those things that might help me feel supported, educated and
uplifted.

As a long time
yoga practitioner, I turned to the yoga world to see what might be out
there.  It was in 2000 that I made my
first trip to Kripalu Yoga Center in The Berkshires of Massachusetts.  It was there that I had the thought about
creating a yoga retreat for breast cancer survivors.  I envisioned several days at the beach,
yogaing, resting, swimming, talking, and breathing!  In 2005 the first Pink Ribbon Yoga Retreat
for women breast cancer survivors became a reality.   My jump down the rabbit hole had taken me to
one of the most amazing, fulfilling adventures of my life.

As of this writing
here in 2012, a few hundred women have experienced all the things I envisioned
and so much more than I ever imagined. 
This retreat has been Spirit Driven and Divinely Blessed since its
inception.  Have you ever been involved
in something like this, something that takes on a life of its own, something
that comes together and blossoms with a miraculous aura?

I have never
approached an individual or an organization that has not generously agreed to
help us in whatever way they could.  The
first person to say yes was Rhonda Bailey, a yoga instructor and friend.  She set the standard for everyone else.  After that, with the support of The Duke
Cancer Patient Support program, we were ready to go.  Our teachers generously volunteer their time and
talent.  Our friends and family come
forward every year to help defray the costs and to provide scholarships for
those who are unable to pay. One woman took it upon herself to buy cushy beach
towels for everyone.  We had homemade
biscotti and pound cake.  A local
ice-cream shop donated sundaes for everyone and one of our committee members
made the supreme effort to go taste several of the flavors beforehand.  Every year we raise enough money with the
efforts of my husband, Sandy, to help pay for anyone who wants to come on
scholarship.  It’s phenomenal how it all
comes together and it’s obvious to all of us there that the success of this
event is beyond anything most of us have ever experienced.  It has to have the hand of God in it.


Who comes to a retreat
like this?  Well, obviously, women who
have experienced breast cancer. 
(Although we have many people who want to come but don’t want to qualify
to come.) But, really what type of individual attends an event like this?  I am here to tell you, they are amazing
individuals.  They come from all over the
country.  Most of the women have heard
something about what goes on but it really is an unknown entity.  Many have never practiced yoga; many come
without knowing anyone else.  Some are in
the middle of treatment others have been out of treatment for years.  They don’t know what the accommodations are
like, who their roommate may be or what the food is like but they come
anyway.  They are the type of person who
isn’t afraid to jump down the rabbit hole. 
They are amazing, brave, adventurous human beings and when we gather we
get to share the adventure.
The focus of the
retreat, believe it or not, is not breast cancer.  Yes, we all have that in common and yes, the
subject comes up and people share experiences and more often than not, they
share what worked for them.  The focus of
the retreat is living life to the fullest. 
Each year, as in most yoga practices, we take an intention.  The first year the intention was that “it was
a joyful experience for Everyone involved.” 
One year we focused on an “Open Heart.” 
We also took the intention to “Stay in the Moment.”  In 2008, our intention was to “Marvel in the
Mystery.”

The retreat
provides multiple healing modalities. 
Besides yoga, which in itself is multi-dimensional; there’s the ocean,
art-therapy, massage therapy, silent walks and Yoga Dance.  Some people relate to some and not to other
modalities.  Other people need a little bit
of all of them but either way they all lead to an increased sense of well-being
and support. 

We begin and end
the retreat with a Sharing Circle.  I’m
sure there are many such rituals involved with other gatherings but I was
introduced to this ritual at Kripalu. 
There are many guidelines.  The
first, of course, is confidentiality.  We
go on to talk about using the “I” word, not the community “we.”  Only one person is allowed to speak at a time
and it’s highly recommended that everyone actively listen and not plan what
they might want to say.  In between each
speaker we take a collective in breath and sigh it out.  We imagine clearing the psychic white board
in the middle of the circle.  There are
other suggestions but these are the main ones. 
What happens during the circles? What happens during the four days?  Miracles occur.

Miracles, you say? 
What is miraculous about ice-cream and beach towels and homemade
goodies?  Well, for one thing they simply
appear, like the manna in the dessert. 
We never ask for these treasures. 
But, what is really miraculous is what happens to the mind, body and
spirit of each of the ladies and our one man (He’s the breast cancer counselor
for the DCPSP.)  by the end of the four
days.  A light comes on in each person.  There has been healing; there’s been a
renewed sense of hope.  The women have
found camaraderie and acceptance.  We
have laughed, cried, played, swam, created, danced and done yoga.  We have found power, the power in each of us
and as a group.  The event is laced with
miracles especially the overwhelming feeling of love that permeates each person
including me, as the retreat comes to a close.
 

If you’re interested in attending, you can look us up on
PinkRibbonYoga.org.