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@Home Retreat, March 2021

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Triangle @Home Monthly Morning Retreat
March 20th, 2021
9:00-10:00am

 *Prepare your space: Find an area where hopefully you will not be disturbed for your quiet time. Perhaps you want a blanket for yourself. 
*Gather your supplies: Timer, note paper and/or journal, pen. You may want to bring in one or two inspirational books.
*Create an “altar”: Put a few meaningful items out, include a candle.

*Opening Song  

I Heard the Voice of Jesus Say

*Opening Prayers

The Sign of the Cross, Our Father, Hail Mary or your choice.

*Intention

This is a reflective, healing time and we ask that it be filled with the love of the Holy Spirit, the care of Mother Mary and the guidance of all our guardian angels. We are here to learn from one another and to support each other on our journey towards a closer, more intimate relationship with Our Lord.
*Write out a prayer request or a few and add them to your “altar.”

*Reflection

Easter is very close. The Lord will soon rise again.  Find time and a practice to stay connected to God, the Divine, Our Lord. Listen to what comes into your heart and your life during this time.  Claim love, peace, hope, trust, compassion and gratitude?
Using your journal write about any insights. (10-15 min.)
Gospel reading suggestion: read slowly three times.
40 Some in the crowd who heard these words said, “This is truly the Prophet.” 41 Others said, “This is the Messiah.” But others said, “The Messiah will not come from Galilee, will he? 42 Does not scripture say that the Messiah will be of David’s family and come from Bethlehem, the village where David lived?” 43 So a division occurred in the crowd because of him. 44 Some of them even wanted to arrest him, but no one laid hands on him.
45 So the guards went to the chief priests and Pharisees, who asked them, “Why did you not bring him?” 46 The guards answered, “Never before has anyone spoken like this one.” 47 So the Pharisees answered them, “Have you also been deceived? 48 Have any of the authorities or the Pharisees believed in him? 49 But this crowd, which does not know the law, is accursed.” 50 Nicodemus, one of their members who had come to him earlier, said to them, 51 “Does our law condemn a person before it first hears him and finds out what he is doing?” 52 They answered and said to him, “You are not from Galilee also, are you? Look and see that no prophet arises from Galilee.”

*Journaling Time 

What did you hear God sharing with you? What do you want to share with God? (10-15 minutes)

 

*Centering Prayer 

10 to 20 (recommended) minutes of silent time (you decide.)
Guidelines:
1. Sit comfortably.
2. Choose a sacred word on which to focus.
3. Set a timer.
4. Don’t judge, just observe.
5. The phrase that often precedes Centering Prayer is: I let go of security, affection & control and fully accept this moment exactly as it is. (Optional)
6. Take a few breaths at the end to return to the present moment and to reflect
on the experience.

*Make it Your Own

Perhaps you have an inspirational book you have been meaning to investigate but you just haven’t had the opportunity. Now is the time. If you have some time left before the end of the hour open it and see what other messages the Holy is sending to you.
You could also use this time to say the Rosary. Saturday in the Catholic Church is set aside as “Mary’s Day” and the reflection is on the Joyful Mysteries.

*Closing Prayers

****Dear God,
Speak gently in my silence.
When the loud outer noises of my surroundings and the loud inner noises of my fears keep pulling me away from you, help me to trust that you are still there even when I am unable to hear you. Give me ears to listen to your small, soft voice saying: “Come to me, you who are overburdened, and I will give you rest… for I am gentle and humble of heart.” Let that loving voice be my guide. Amen
Excerpt from With Open Hands by Henri J.M. Nouwen, ave maria press, 2006

 

****Merciful Father, in the name of our lovable Jesus, His Virgin Mother all your angels and saints, I ask you to set me on fire with the spirit of your love and to grant me the grace to deeply love you.

 

****“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God-what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:1-2

 

*Sharing a Word Exercise – choose a word from your reading or your quiet time (your sacred word?) and share it on an email to me. Feel free to share any other thoughts or insights you have gained from this sacred time. I will send out an email with everyone’s response some time today.
Thank you.
Jean Costa, MSW, RYT
Certified Spiritual Director, JeanAnneCosta@gmail.com
 

@Home Retreat, January 2021

Triangle @Home Monthly Morning Retreat
January 16th, 2021
9:00-10:00am

 

*Prepare your space: Find an area where hopefully you will not be disturbed for your quiet time. Perhaps you want a blanket for yourself. 
*Gather your supplies: Timer, note paper and/or journal, pen. You may want to bring in one or two inspirational books.
*Create an “altar”: Put a few meaningful items out, include a candle.
*Opening Song –  Refresh My Heart or song of your choice.
(You Tube Link) Refresh My Heart
*Opening Prayers: The Sign of the Cross, Our Father, Hail Mary or your choice.
*Intention: This is a reflective, healing time and we ask that it be filled with the love of the Holy Spirit, the care of Mother Mary and the guidance of all our guardian angels. We are here to learn from one another and to support each other on our journey towards a closer, more intimate relationship with Our Lord.
*Write out a prayer request or a few and add them to your “altar.”
*Reflection – It’s a new year and the COVID vaccine has appeared on the scene.  When will you receive it?  Do you want to receive it? What then?  Will it protect us from the virus so we can finally see our family and friends? How much longer will we need to wear masks and maintain “social distancing?” There are so many questions? How are you doing? How have you continued to stay connected to God, the Divine, Our Lord? What has come into your heart and your life during this time, peace, hope, fear, compassion, gratitude?
Using your journal write about any insights. (10-15 min.)

 

*The Gospel reading is: Mark 2:13-17

13 He went out again to the shore of the lake; and all the people came to him, and he taught them.

14 As he was walking along he saw Levi the son of Alphaeus sitting at the tax office, and he said to him, ‘Follow me.’ And he got up and followed him.

15 When Jesus was at dinner in his house, a number of tax collectors and sinners were also sitting at table with Jesus and his disciples; for there were many of them among his followers.

16 When the scribes of the Pharisee party saw him eating with sinners and tax collectors, they said to his disciples, ‘Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?’

17 When Jesus heard this he said to them, ‘It is not the healthy who need the doctor, but the sick. I came to call not the upright, but sinners.’

 

 

*Journaling Time – What did you hear God sharing with you? What do you want to share with God? (10-15 minutes)
*Centering Prayer – 10 to 20 (recommended) minutes of silent time (you decide.)
Guidelines:
  1. Sit comfortably.
  2. Choose a sacred word on which to focus.
  3. Set a timer.
  4. Don’t judge, just observe.
  5. The phrase that often precedes Centering Prayer is: I let go of security, affection & control and fully accept this moment exactly as it is. (Optional)
  6. Take a few breaths at the end to return to the present moment and to reflect
    on the experience.
  7. *Make it Your Own:
    Perhaps you have an inspirational book you have been meaning to investigate but you just haven’t had the opportunity. Now is the time. If you have some time left before the end of the hour open it and see what other messages the Holy is sending to you.
  8. You could also use this time to say the Rosary. Saturday in the Catholic Church is set aside as “Mary’s Day” and the reflection is on the Joyful Mysteries.
*Closing Prayer –
Dear God,
Speak gently in my silence.
When the loud outer noises of my surroundings and the loud my fears keep pulling me away from you,
inner noises of
help me to trust that you are still there even when I am unable to hear you. Give me ears to listen to your small, soft voice saying: “Come to me, you who
are overburdened, and I will give you rest…
for I am gentle and humble of heart.” Let that loving voice be my guide. Amen
Excerpt from With Open Hands by Henri J.M. Nouwen, ave maria press, 2006
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God-what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:1-2
*Sharing a Word Exercise – choose a word from your reading or your quiet time (your sacred word?) and share it on an email to me. Feel free to share any other thoughts or insights you have gained from this sacred time. I will send out an email with everyone’s response some time today.
Thank you.
Jean Costa, MSW, RYT
Certified Spiritual Director, JeanAnneCosta@gmail.com

@Home Retreat, December 2020

Triangle@Home Monthly Morning Retreat
December 19th, 2020 9:00-10:00 am

  (or day and time of your choice).

*Prepare your space: Find an area where hopefully you will not be disturbed for your quiet time. Perhaps you want a blanket for yourself (or a teddy bear?). 
*Gatheram your supplies: Timer, note paper and/or journal, pen. You may want to bring in one or two inspirational books. 
*Create an “altar”: Put a few meaningful items out, include a candle. 
*Opening Song – Here I am Lord

*Opening Prayers: The Sign of the Cross, Our Father, Hail Mary or your choice. 
*Intention: This is a reflective, healing time and we ask that it be filled with the love of the Holy Spirit, the care of Mother Mary and the guidance of all our guardian angels. We are here to learn from one another and to support each other on our journey towards a closer, more intimate relationship with Our Lord. 
*Write out a prayer request or a few and add them to your “altar.” 
*Reflection – There appears to be a “light at the end of the tunnel.” The news is focused on the recently discovered vaccine for Covid 19.  For most of us, this probably won’t be available until sometime in 2021.  We are still faced with decisions about the holidays that are causing sadness and separation. We are still trying to stay safe and keep our loved ones safe but for most of us, we ache to see them and hold them. It’s one of the most bizarre holidays most of us have ever experienced.  
How are you doing? How have you continued to stay connected to God, the Divine, Our Lord? What has come into your heart and your life during this time of chaos and uncertainty, peace, hope, fear, compassion, gratitude? 
Using your journal write about any insights. (10-15 min.) 
Saturday in the Catholic Church is always Mother Mary’s Day
One prayer to Mary is the Memoire: (This is one of my favorite and the one I always say as I am going to sleep.)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary,
that never was it known that any one who fled to thy protection,
implored thy help or sought thy intercession,
was left unaided.
Inspired with this confidence,
I fly unto thee,
O Virgin of virgins my Mother;
to thee do I come,
before thee I stand,
sinful and sorrowful;
O Mother of thy Word Incarnate,
despise not my petitions,
but in thy clemency hear and answer me.
Amen.
Gospel reading suggestion: read slowly three times.
*The Gospel reading is:
Gospel, Luke 1:5-25
5 In the days of King Herod of Judaea there lived a priest called Zechariah who belonged to the Abijah section of the priesthood, and he had a wife, Elizabeth by name, who was a descendant of Aaron.
6 Both were upright in the sight of God and impeccably carried out all the commandments and observances of the Lord.
7 But they were childless: Elizabeth was barren and they were both advanced in years.
8 Now it happened that it was the turn of his section to serve, and he was exercising his priestly office before God
9 when it fell to him by lot, as the priestly custom was, to enter the Lord’s sanctuary and burn incense there.
10 And at the hour of incense all the people were outside, praying.
11 Then there appeared to him the angel of the Lord, standing on the right of the altar of incense.
12 The sight disturbed Zechariah and he was overcome with fear.
13 But the angel said to him, ‘Zechariah, do not be afraid, for your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth is to bear you a son and you shall name him John.
14 He will be your joy and delight and many will rejoice at his birth,
15 for he will be great in the sight of the Lord; he must drink no wine, no strong drink; even from his mother’s womb he will be filled with the Holy Spirit,
16 and he will bring back many of the Israelites to the Lord their God.
17 With the spirit and power of Elijah, he will go before him to reconcile fathers to their children and the disobedient to the good sense of the upright, preparing for the Lord a people fit for him.’
18 Zechariah said to the angel, ‘How can I know this? I am an old man and my wife is getting on in years.’
19 The angel replied, ‘I am Gabriel, who stand in God’s presence, and I have been sent to speak to you and bring you this good news.
20 Look! Since you did not believe my words, which will come true at their appointed time, you will be silenced and have no power of speech until this has happened.’
21 Meanwhile the people were waiting for Zechariah and were surprised that he stayed in the sanctuary so long.
22 When he came out he could not speak to them, and they realized that he had seen a vision in the sanctuary. But he could only make signs to them and remained dumb.
23 When his time of service came to an end he returned home.
24 Some time later his wife Elizabeth conceived and for five months she kept to herself, saying,
25 ‘The Lord has done this for me, now that it has pleased him to take away the humiliation I suffered in public.’
*Centering Prayer – 10 to 20 (recommended) minutes of silent time (you decide.)
Guidelines: 
  1. Sit comfortably. 
  2. Choose a sacred word on which to focus. 
  3. Set a timer. 
  4. Don’t judge, just observe. 
  5. The phrase that often precedes Centering Prayer is: I let go of security, affection & control and fully accept this moment exactly as it is. (Optional) 
  6. Take a few breaths at the end to return to the present moment and to reflect
    on the experience. 
  7. *Make it Your Own:
    Perhaps you have an inspirational book you have been meaning to investigate but you just haven’t had the opportunity. Now is the time. If you have some time left before the end of the hour open it and see what other messages the Holy is sending to you.
  8. You could also use this time to say the Rosary. Saturday in the Catholic Church is set aside as “Mary’s Day” and the reflection is on the Joyful Mysteries.
*Journaling Time – What did you hear God sharing with you? What do you want to share with God? (10-15 minutes) 
*Closing Prayer – 
Merciful Father, in the name of our Lovable Jesus, His Holy Mother, all the angels and saints, I ask you to set me on fire with Your love and to give me the grace to deeply love You.
Dear God,
Speak gently in my silence. 
When the loud outer noises of my surroundings and the loud inner noises of my fears keep pulling me away from you, help me to trust that you are still there even when I am unable to hear you. Give me ears to listen to your small, soft voice saying: “Come to me, you who are overburdened, and I will give you rest… for I am gentle and humble of heart.” Let that loving voice be my guide. Amen 
Excerpt from With Open Hands by Henri J.M. Nouwen, ave maria press, 2006 
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God-what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:1-2 
*Sharing a Word Exercise – choose a word or phrase from your reading or your quiet time (your sacred word?) and share it on an email to me. Feel free to share any other thoughts or insights you have gained from this sacred time. I will send out an email with everyone’s response some time today. 
Thank you. 
Jean Costa, MSW, RYT 
Certified Spiritual Director, JeanAnneCosta@gmail.com 

Being Your Better Self

Affirmation: Every day I strive to be a “better” version of myself

“God loves me just as I am but He /She loves me too much to leave me there.”
 – Quote from a fellow Spiritual Director

 

Covid 19 has taken its toll on 2020.  It’s like God has sent us to our knees.  I know He/She has sent me to mine.  My prayer list at the end of this year is longer than it has ever been before and several of those prayers revolve around people I know and love who are dealing with this scourge that has infected our whole earth.  I am, probably like many of you, trying to listen closely to the messages from the Divine that seem to be coming in even more clearly than previously.  This month’s message has been about being the best, or at least the better me possible.

 

Richard Rohr in his book, The Divine Dance, tells the story of sharing with his spiritual director that he would like to be more like Thomas Merton, the great spiritual guru of the 70’s. His wise director told him he should simply be Richard Rohr. He is an American author with over 50 books to this date, spiritual writer, and Franciscan friar based in Albuquerque, New Mexico. PBS has called him “one of the most popular spirituality authors and speakers in the world.” (Wikipedia) It seems like the advice was well received.

 

Then in a conversation with my dear friends, we found ourselves looking at our past and  comparing our accomplishments to people we admire. Matthew Kelly, the founder of the Dynamic Catholic Institute shares in his book, Perfectly Yourself, that his favorite painter is Pablo Picasso.  He shares that when Pablo was younger his mother told him, “Pablo if you become a soldier, you will be a general.  If you become a priest, you will be the Pope.” Pablo then shares, “I became a painter and I became Pablo Picasso.”   Matthew also reminds us that no matter what society tells us about becoming whatever we desire, each of us has been called by God for a very specific reason.  We are here for a purpose.  We aren’t here to be all things to all people.  We are here to be the best version of ourselves we can possibly be or at least the better version of ourselves.

 

I must confess to believing that if I persevere in some endeavor I will eventually accomplish whatever it is I’m trying to master and that I now know that is not true.  I am not someone who regrets not trying to learn or do something of interest and over these many years, I have watched myself become the master of mediocrity at many many different skills.  I won’t bother to list them all here but trust me, there are many.  It’s not like I don’t try and it’s not like I have not invested a lot of time and energy truly believing that if I just hang in there, someday something magical will happen and I will be proficient at my desired talent.  That’s not to say I haven’t enjoyed the learning process or the amazing people and perhaps places I have met and visited along the way.  I have had many wonderful adventures in the pursuit of my different interests but I must confess, I simply did not have the God given talent to become a “good” fiddler, golfer, foreign linguistic, etc.  I think Matthew is right.  Some of us are simply suited to some things, designed for specific gifts, than for other.  The challenge is discovering those gifts, those gifts that God has bestowed on us to benefit this world.  Have you discovered yours?  What a wonder to be young and find that “something” and hone that talent.  I envy those people but “better late than never.”

 

The book I am presently reading is Julia Cameron’s, It’s Never Too Late to Begin Again.  Her first book, The Artist’s Way, changed my life as I know it did many others.  I discovered with the help of some of my dearest friends the gift of creating positive affirmations and of looking for and recognizing synchronicities or as she sometimes calls them, “ah ha moments.”  When I began writing morning pages 30 years ago, I discovered something that fed my soul.That quiet time of sitting and writing has helped me develop the discipline to begin every day with prayer, meditation, Bible study and journaling.  Within the journaling, I have left my petty concerns and discovered my passions and the joy of this blessed life.

 

There are times when I wonder if I’m being selfish by taking that sacred time in the morning but then, Elizabeth Fenske presented in her December writings her concept of Unity and Oneness in her daily meditation book, Spiritual Insights for Daily Living and everything fell into place, at least for 2020.  She writes, “We forget that what we do about the inner self we also do about the world.  No thing is separate from any other thing in the universe.  The auric fields, often invisible to our eyes, are all woven together. With everything which happens, we can “feel” ourselves moving toward a deeper sense of the awareness.  Often in the stillness we intuitively feel and know the interconnectedness and oneness we share related back to a common ancestry.  We are the essence of life, cousin to the star and tigress.”  This for me was an “ah ha moment.”  My dear departed guide, Valerie Kelly, often reminded me that everything we do, everything we say and think, affects every other person in the world.  What a responsibly!!!  If I can maintain an attitude of kindness, compassion and generosity within me and for me, I can send those qualities out into this weary exhausted world and to everyone within it.  My prayer time is not simply time for me, it’s time for you.  The waves of grace and ease, gratitude and compassion, joy and dignity, hope and trust flow out of me and my connection to my Divine family, to my Lord and Savior and blanket all those who have tuned into the same frequency as I and perhaps to those who are simply turning the dial looking for the best station to the guidance about becoming the best version they can be.

Savoring Life

Affirmation:  I eat mindfully
Mindfulness
is the practice of being fully aware of the present moment without
judging.  John Kabat-Zinn brought a
greater awareness to the practice back in 1970’s when he began teaching
Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR). It is still taught worldwide. I
studies MBSR at Duke Integrative Medicine, NC several years ago. It’s a gift we
give ourselves when we develop the ability to be in the present moment.  It’s also the practice of a lifetime.  Most of here in the West don’t sit in a lotus
position for several hours a day chanting or focusing on a mantra (a single
word or phrase).  Most Americans are more
concerned about the past or the future and are missing whatever is happening in
the present.  In general we are a busy,
pre-occupied population.  But, most of us
are also looking for ways to improve the quality of our lives.  We are searching for that which will enhance
our daily experiences and not leave us feeling so worn out and tired.  Tools, we are looking for the tools we can
use to fix or to shape or to color our lives so that we are able to take deeper
breaths, appreciate the beauty of nature and relish the precious moments of
connection with those we love.
For many,
prayer is a powerful tool.  It’s my first
choice.  Time to communicate with my God,
time to tell Her my concerns, to offer up thanksgiving for all my blessings and
time to simply sit and listen.  It
doesn’t have to be formal prayer.  My day
is lifted up and given over to God, Jesus Christ, before I even rise from the
bed.  Then, if it’s a day of unending
activity which I must confess is not unusual, I still know that I am in prayer
mode throughout all the business. 
In yoga
the practitioner is called upon to focus on his or her breath.  Sometimes a yoga practice may only involve
pranayama, breathing techniques.  There
are many, some more elaborate than others. 
The simplest one involves watching one’s breath.  I encourage my students at the very beginning
of practice to simply notice their breath. 
“Close your eyes and begin to focus on your breath, the in and the
out, the up and the down, the rise and the fall.”  After years of beginning practice this way, I
simply need to think the words and I feel calmer.  When a group of us are all focusing on our
breath at the same time, the entire energy level in the room changes from
charged to serene. 
Another
breathing technique that can be used anywhere anytime is to simply take a deep
breath.  Breathe all the way down into
your belly and then release it.  Want to
make it even more effective, sigh it out. 
Oh, not just a little sigh, make it a full “haaaaa!”  Don’t believe it’ll make a difference?  Try it right now, do it a few times and then
just notice.  Don’t judge, just observe
if you feel any different.  I attach the
name of Jesus to my deep breaths.  It’s a
mini-prayer that I can do anywhere, anytime. 
Journaling
is also an opportunity for me to practice mindfulness.  I like to have a large mug of tea next to me;
my favorite spiral bound journal, an easy flowing ballpoint pen and a pleasant
space.  I usually write in my sun
room.  I have a nice chair and ottoman
and the room faces my garden, the bird feeders and a small waterfall.  It’s a yellow room with much of my favorite
memorabilia on the shelves.  I begin with
a prayer and then write my three pages. 
I am fully there in the time and space. 
It centers me for the day.  It
leaves me feeling grounded and calm. 
Another
way for me to practice mindfulness is when I am eating.  It’s a reciprocal process in that when I
focus on the process of eating, my eating becomes healthier.  I’m always fine tuning my diet.  I’m a moderate person, meaning I don’t usually
go overboard when I’m making changes. 
I’m a sure and steady kind of gal. I share this with you because while I
know a lot about vegan diets and vegetarian diets, I have not fully embraced
any restrictive form of eating.  I avoid
certain foods that I think aren’t my best choices, like things with sugar,
artificial colors or flavorings, foods that are heavily salted or have
preservatives.  I try to eat mostly fresh
vegetables, fruits, whole grains, fish and chicken.  I love a glass of wine periodically and
sharing an ice cream with friends or especially with a grandchild, is a real
treat for me.  I know how important it is
to eat a “good” diet.  I’m also
aware of the global impact my choices have on the rest of the world. 
When I
trained at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health, breakfast was always
silent.  It was a very educational
experience for me. I am a social eater. 
I love to sit with family and friends and share a meal and conversation.
If there’s no one around, I don’t really care if I eat or not. I’m an
“eat-to-live” person, not a “live-to-eat” person.  In order to make the best food choices for me
I decided to simply pay close attention to the eating experience.  Have you ever tried the “raisin”
experiment?  You place a single raisin in
your mouth and you don’t chew it.  You
allow it to dissolve very very slowly. 
You notice the texture, the sweetness. 
You think about how it came to become a raisin, where it was grown, who
harvested it.  It can take 10 or even 15
minutes to eat that one raisin.  It can
bring you to a whole new appreciation for every bit you take.
What is
your eating environment like?  Do you
take your time and savor each bite or have you just gone through the drive-thru
and are eating as you go?  What’s dinner
like?  Is the TV on or is the computer in
front of you?  What if you simply sat at
the table and focused on the food you are putting into your mouth and your
body?  If you ate mindfully would your
choices be different?  Mine are. We are
what we eat.  What and how we feed our
bodies, our minds and our spirits determines every cell of our being.  Slow down, breathe deeply, say grace before your meal and
savor each bite and especially each moment of your life. 
 

Imaginary Conversations

Affirmation:  I
release myself from imaginary conversations and fully trust in God’s loving
care.

This affirmation was created during a visit to our mountain
retreat place.  It’s a small two bedroom
condo in the North Carolina mountains, in a community called Hound Ears.  It’s called that because the two mountains it
lies between look like doggie ears, or so I am told.  The condo looks out over the hills, a few
ponds and a pristine golf course.  I
journal in the morning sitting on the porch. 
Many mornings I watch the mist rising from the hills as the sun begins
its ascent.  One morning there was a
heron flying through the mist.  I put up
a couple of potted plants containing Petunias so that there is food for the
humming bird who visits.  We have one
dear friend who calls it Shangri-La. 
Shangri-La being a fictional place described in the 1933 novel Lost
Horizon
by British author James Hilton. Hilton
describes Shangri-La as a mystical, harmonious valley. Shangri-La has become
synonymous with any earthly paradise but particularly a mythical Himalayan utopia — a permanently happy land,
isolated from the outside world. In the novel Lost Horizon, the people
who live at Shangri-La are almost immortal, living years beyond the normal
lifespan and only very slowly aging in appearance. (www.wikipedia.org)  Hound Ears is our Shangri-La and if you saw
the number of healthy, hearty octogenarians and nonagenarians who reside here,
you might think so too.

When I am in Hound Ears, I never want to leave but unlike many of
the residents who are retired and can come for six months, we are lucky if we
get to stay for a few weeks.  Most years
we have a lot of family and friends come visit and we enjoy many moments of
sharing time and making memories.  Then,
towards the end of our vacation we have some quiet time.  It’s a nice balance and gives me time to
reflect, write and pray. As the time to leave gets closer and closer, I have to
use all my tools to help me to not go home “early.”  I have to do all in my power to stay in the
moment and to relish the present so that I don’t leave this healing place
before the actual time.  Truly, it is a
mediation, a moment to moment meditation. 
As soon as I let go, my thoughts jump to home.  Home, some years, can mean I am returning to
what are for me, some challenging situations. 

I’ve been guilty of having many imaginary conversations with many
people.  Why do I say guilty?  Well, I am usually thinking about what I can
say, or what I would say or what I should have said or how about, what I could
have said!  What words would have been
more effective.  Will I have the right
words?  Are there any words?  Do I have the power to help someone else “see
the light” or the power to make someone else go from being sad and anxious to
happy and calm?  Can I say anything to
improve and lighten another person’s load? 
Have you ever been here?  Have you
ever had a continuous, one way conversation over and over?  The essence of suffering is wanting things to
be different than they are and that’s what I’m doing.  I am creating my own suffering  because I want to change the way another is
perceiving something.  Certainly, there are
communication tools that can sometimes achieve this desired result but it can’t
happen if I only have the conversation in my mind.  Writing, journaling helps me but this kind of
self-talk usually leads me to a very unsettled feeling.  How can it not?  There is no resolution.  It never really ends. It’s like a recording
on repeat.  But, it serves no purpose,
does it?  It takes one away from the
moment.  It takes me into my imagination
and unless I choose to paint it, sculpt it or as now, write about it, it has no
closure. 

According to the Myers-Briggs personality test all of us fall
either into the “introvert” or “extrovert” category.  There is a range in each section so one’s
score can be high or low on the scale. 
What the authors of this test are referring to when they use the words
introvert and extrovert are not how you relate to people but more, how you get
your energy.  An extreme introvert might
need to be alone most of the time while an extreme extrovert might need to be
out with people all the time.  The
category also refers to how one may communicate.  One type of personality says exactly what
they’re thinking when they’re thinking it. 
The other personality type ruminates on what they want to say, sometimes
over and over depending on the degree of introversion before they say
anything.  Just ask yourself if you have
to “practice” what you want to say before you make a phone call, especially a
call involving something that requires a resolution.  Your answer will give you some indication of
whether you’re an “E” or an “I.”  I am a weak
“I.”  I practice and depending on the
situation, I can find myself practicing way too much.

Mind you, I’m not practicing for the best.  I am usually practicing for what I think will
be an uncomfortable conversation.  One of
my other affirmations is “The best is yet to come.” but when I’m facing some
potential confrontation, it’s really hard for me to call that one into
existence. 

When I began creating the affirmation about “imaginary
conversations”, I found myself using the phrase “obsessive thoughts.”  I release myself from “obsessive
thoughts.”  But, the longer I worked on
it, the more I realized it was more than that, it was the whole motion picture
I was developing or perhaps even a mini-series. 
Wow, I was really good at writing this story.  I found that what I really wanted to
accomplish was to stop writing fiction, at least with regard to the issues I
was facing when I would return home.  I
began writing, “I release myself from imaginary conversations and fully trust
in God’s loving care.”  I know I am much
better off letting God write the story. 

After several days of writing the affirmation in my morning
pages, I began to feel my body relax. 
All the tension would seep away. 
What else did my new thought call to me? 
Mornings of journaling as I watch the mist rise from the hills, joy from
the presence of the hummingbird as it flit around my planters and an invitation
to share my yoga practice with a friend who’s looking for some calming
tools.  As I prepared for the session, I
renewed several of my own peace giving practices; daily breathing rituals,
guided mediations, gratitude and release sun salutations and regular deep
breaths. 

My new affirmation brought peace, contentment and a sated
feeling.  This is a perfect moment.  I am blessed and resting in God’s loving
care.  As the pastor at St. Bernadette’s
in Linville, NC said in his homily, “People, we have it all.  We want for nothing.”  That’s it. 
I want for nothing, that is my meditation, at least for this moment and
truly, isn’t that all we have?