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Jean A. Costa / Posts tagged "North Carolina"
November 24, 2014 In Faith, Women

Loving Mother Earth

Affirmation: I treasure Mother Earth.


The Light shines within each of us for we are the dwelling places of the Holy Spirit….it is not enough to know the Light is within.  We have come to earth as servers.  Our calling is to stand aside, let Spirit shine through our lives, and thereby to reach out and trigger the illuminating of the light in the lives of others.  And so we join together with kindred souls to let the light of peace, joy, love and truth flood over and transform the quality of life that is manifest on Planet Earth.


Paul Brecht Fenske from Spiritual Insights for Daily Living

The retreat day topic presented by Sisters Mary Margaret and Judy from A Place for Women to Gather was “Oh Earth I Cannot Hold You Close Enough.”  It revolved around a lovely painted image taken from The Cosmic Dance by Joyce Rupp.  The morning was devoted to quiet time and reflection time for us to attune to the beauty and bounty that the earth offers us with the final intention of finding ways we as individuals will support and care for our planet.

The Sixty Minute segment presented on Sunday November, 16th of this year, 2014 was about our water consumption throughout the world.  I live in Cary, North Carolina and we have had water restrictions for years, way before there was much of a visible issue and way before we even had any major problems with our water supply.  Right now I believe we are at a healthy water level for our area but we haven’t always been “safe” and our community does an excellent job of encouraging people to be conservative with their water usage.  They offer rebates for low flow toilettes, inexpensive rain barrels are for sale and watering for lawns and shrubs are on restricted days.  The Sixty Minute segment showed that small steps like ours are more important than I ever imagined but they are not enough to keep our planet green and healthy.  We are drilling for water like we do for oil and we are sucking the earth dry.

The folks who monitor our water levels have for years used the primitive method of simply measuring the water table with a long tape measurer lowered into holes throughout the world and they have seen a huge decrease in the water table, more so over the last decade than ever before.  Now, there is a satellite that takes photos of the whole world and whose sensitivity to moisture allows it to color the computer image based on how much water is present in the area.  Green is healthy, red is sick, black is death.  Over the last several years, the computer images show that many of our world’s major water tables have died.  I know this is a simplistic explanation of a very complex and serious issue.  It did however, cause me to be even more aware of a very serious issue of which our beautiful planet is suffering.
Once again I am faced with the question, “What can I do to affect a change in this world, me one tiny woman living in Cary, North Carolina?”  My first thought is to pray.  I’m praying for many world wide issues, especially for those who are suffering the most.  I know God knows who they are.  I am trusting She will hear my prayer and along with those of others, someone or even many will be comforted.  On NPR this week the head of the UN’s humanitarian services stated that there are now 59,000,000 displaced people in the Middle East.  Our world is in dire shape and I must say the media brings that news right into our homes and I am sure, into many of our hearts.  What more can I do to help the world?

As I write this, we are approaching Thanksgiving.  I am sitting comfortably in a warm home with all the comforts one can need, even enough water to bathe and to have a cup of tea.  I am grateful.  I do count my blessings.  My daughter, Ellen, has just arrived from England and my granddaughter, Isabelle, is spending the night.  My whole family will be here this week and especially on Thursday.  The turkey is in the fridge and I can’t wait to begin cooking.  I love to make the pies.  My husband loves to grill the turkey.  It fills my heart and soul to sit here and recognize my bounty.  I do not take for granted all I am blessed with and from that bounty I have taken measures to help others, besides my prayers, although I do fervently believe that my prayers are the first and most important step.  It’s been shown that when many pray together for the same outcome, things do change for the better, including the prayer.  

My church, St. Michael the Archangel is in the throws of putting together boxes and boxes of food to give away this week, thousands of them. We are but one of thousands of organizations who are doing the same thing.  We have a “Jesse Tree” in the foyer with paper ornaments with children’s names who need a present, usually clothing.  There are adopt-a-family notices in our bulletin.  We are a country with an abundance of resources and from what I can see here in my community, we want to share those with whomever needs help.  As a family, we aren’t ever generous enough.  It seems no matter how much we donate, or step up to assist others, we could always do more, more and more.  We aren’t called to be missionaries working in the really needy part of the world.  We are called, however, to be compassionate and that means not just thinking sad thoughts but actually stepping up and making a difference.  It means donating to the Thanksgiving Basket drive, taking at least one ornament off the Jesse tree, spending time in service.  It means recognizing our bounty and our blessings and making a difference.  We want to donate our time, treasure and talent to improve the condition of our world, even if it’s just our small part of the world.  

After my day retreat, I also realized I need to be more caring of our planet.  My first step was to realize I wasn’t taking enough time to “smell the roses.”  So much of my day is spent running around doing, that I’ve forgotten to embrace the beauty and appreciate the bounty of my planet.  Growing up amid the highways, sidewalks and brick buildings of a city was not the place to get in touch with nature.  I did spend my summers on Jones Beach and fell I love with the ocean.  I love the salt water and the waves and the sound but it took a move to North Carolina before I was stopped in my tracks by nature.  Perhaps too, it’s more about being older and getting closer to being reunited with the earth that has me paying more attention to its grandeur and miracles.  My first step, therefore, is to slow down and to daily savor the miracles that surround me.  Ah, another opportunity to meditate!  My second step is to find more ways to sustain our resources, even if it’s just me taking one small step: walk when I can, use less water less often, recycle even more fervently, don’t print something I can save on the computer, plan my errands all at once rather than heading out randomly.  

I am always looking for ways to be of more service to the world.  In this case, our day retreat has given me a greater awareness of the responsibility to literally give back to Mother Earth, that planet which so tenderly holds us here. I use to have the affirmation, “I treat Mother Earth gently” but now, with awareness I claim with more fervor, “I treasure Mother Earth.”  Therefore, on this Thanksgiving, 2014, I give thanks for ALL things but especially for the treasures of our miraculous world.  

July 20, 2014 In Women

Living an Intentional Life

Affirmation:  Everyday I
get to choose how I want to perceive my life experience.
Mo Martin won the Women’s British Open at Royal Birkdale in
England this July, 2014.  When she was
interviewed she mentioned her “intention” was to win the
tournament.  At the time she was ranked
99th on the tour and it appeared no one had her listed as a potential
champion.  She ended her win and her
final hole with an eagle, which means she had three shots on a hole on which a good
golfer would normally have five shots. 
As of this writing, I am lucky enough to be in the mountains of
North Carolina and once again I find myself playing golf.  If you follow this blog you know that golf is
not one of my gifts.  It’s something at
which I have to work very hard in order to play somewhat decently and to tell
the truth, I only work on it for the few weeks I’m up in the mountains.  I do, however, love the sport.  I share the time with my husband, Sandy.  He’s an amazing golfer and many times my son,
Joey, is with us.  Sometimes his
beautiful wife, Belen, comes along.  It’s
beautiful up here and the course we get to play on looks like a post card.  It’s so exhilarating when I actually hit that
little ball and it soars away down the fairway towards the pin.  I love it when I putt the ball and it rolls
along and plops in the hole.  I actually
love to watch someone else make a long difficult putt. It almost seems surreal
to me to finally have that tiny ball fall into that tiny spot on this huge
expanse of lawn.  I think a big part of
the excitement for me is that I’m so surprised and delighted when things
actually go better than I even imagined. 
I don’t intend to have a low expectation of my performance but after
years of playing I have come to recognize that I will probably remain a below
average player unless I decide to play more than just the month of July.  However, I always set an intention to do
well, for me, and to enjoy the day.   

The first time I heard the phase “take an intention”
was at a yoga class many years ago.  The
teacher did not provide any other guidance. 
She simply told us to “take an intention for your practice”
and then left us to figure it out.  I
remember it clearly.  The word
“gratitude” popped into my mind and so I embraced it and let it sit
with me for the hour.  Interestingly it
didn’t leave me at the end.  I found it
was with me as I went into the day and here I sit many years later still embracing
gratitude, every day.  When I teach I
always follow that same example.  I
encourage everyone to chant an “ohm” and to bring their palm together
in front of their heart and with their thumbs touching their heart I say
“Take an intention for this time you’re giving yourself.   Any word that comes to mind is
fine.”  And then at the end of our
practice, we repeat the chant and I remind the participants to recall the
intention they took at the beginning of class and encourage them to take it
with them into their day, and perhaps into their lives. 
That simple instruction so many years ago has had a very powerful
impact on my life.  I found myself taking
an intention each morning for the day. 
As I journal and pray in the morning, I wait to see what word or words
come to my awareness and I let them sit with me as I finish my quiet time and
then bring them with me into my day. 
It’s very seldom that something doesn’t come to the surface.  If not, I just let go for the day.  I decided also that I might as well take an
intention for each year.  I only began
this two years ago but it’s been a wonderful gift to give myself.  You may remember that my intention for 2014
is to, “connect to the Divine.” 
It’s been quite a journey so far and I’m looking forward to what the
rest of the year will present. 
When I listened to Mo Martin’s interview, I found her expression
of intent to be of interest.  I assume
she’s a yogini.  Maybe yes, maybe no, but
yogini or not, she has a remarkable attitude. 
She “took an intention” to win!  Yeah, Mo! 
Go girl!  Why not?  She set herself up for success.  She knew it was possible she wouldn’t win but
once she set that intention, she recognized that she could very well achieve
her goal.  She also said even when she
wasn’t playing well, when she wasn’t winning, she still woke up everyday with a
smile and a sense of excitement about being able to play. 
By living an intentional life it means you’ve given thought to
what you want your life to look like.  I
would imagine if you’re reading this you already are someone who is choosing
how to live your life but don’t assume that’s how most of the world lives.  Unfortunately, many people are faced with
such dire challenges they don’t have the energy to focus on choice. Others
simply have chosen not to choose but to let life and fate just play itself out.
Once you begin “taking an intention” you may find your day and
therefore you life takes on a richness that makes you feel like a winner no matter
what challenge life presents or at the very least, you wake up each morning,
like Mo, with a smile on your face and a sense of excitement about being able
to play, the game of life.

November 3, 2012 In Uncategorized

Blessings & Friends

I accept my friends as they are, fully appreciate the ways they bless
my life and hold them in my daily prayers.

There has been much written about how a social support system can
bolster one’s immunity.  Not only do they
increase our proclivity towards good health but they can increase our chances
for a long, fulfilling life. 

Relationships take work. 
Two people can meet and experience “love at first sight” but,
if that relationship is to survive, better yet thrive, it usually means it
needs to be nurtured.

Some friendships are low maintenance and others require a lot of
effort.  Friendships can wax and
wane.  How many people have you had in
your life that seemed to just disappear? 
It’s all a natural part of life although sometimes it can be hard to
understand. 

I’ve lived many different places and found myself almost
completely on my own many times, especially those initial days after my husband
and I had just moved.  When we moved to
Norwich, NY, a town of 7,000 people in 1971, I spent my first day in a motel
room with our six week old daughter while my husband began his new job.  The following weeks weren’t much easier but
this little town had a Newcomer’s Club with child care that saved my sanity, if
not my life.  Some of those women (yes,
we were all women) are still in my life and we, my husband and I left there in
1976. 

One of our moves took us to Cincinnati, Ohio.  I felt like I’d landed on the moon.  We arrived there with two small
children.  One of my first calls was to
the local Newcomer’s Club where I was informed I couldn’t join; I wasn’t living
within their accepted boundaries.  And,
such a club did not exist in my area. 
Goodbye!  As I stood there
wondering what I should do next, I saw someone standing at the backyard
gate.  She waved and entered my life, a
new friend.  Thank God! 

While in Cincinnati one woman shared with me that she noticed
some newcomers moving in down her street. 
I asked if she’d gone to meet them. 
“No,” she replied “I don’t have time for any more people
in my life.”  I was glad I hadn’t
moved by her.  That’s when I realized
many of the people in our neighborhood felt the same way.  It made me sad.  It still makes me sad and that was many years
ago.  When we moved from that community
one of the neighbors said to me “Moving again, honey?”  We had been in our home almost ten
years!  The interesting part of this
experience was that those neighbors who maintained a more open, adventurous
approach to new relationships were truly remarkable people, many of whom became
very dear friends and who to this day we still consider dear friends. 

We have now lived in North Carolina for over twenty-five
years.  We’ve been very active in the
Triangle community, supporting, joining and working for many organizations.  We’ve been mostly blessed by the
relationships and friendships we’ve forged. 
I once heard a woman proclaim that once she stopped going to her
children’s school bus stop, she stopped making new friends.  I haven’t been to a school bus stop in over
thirty years but by embracing life, trying new things and staying committed to
those I enjoy, new and wonderful friends keep appearing.  Both my husband and I embrace those good
folks who open their lives, homes and hearts to new relationships. 

We need those relationships. 
We need to have people in our lives, other than family, who care for us
and for whom we care.  Each person in our
life brings a different blessing.  One
may be someone you can go to with health issues, another someone with whom you
play.  Another may be of a similar
spiritual proclivity, while another may not be and cause you to question and
grow.  One may be someone who likes to
take a walk and another who likes to sit and talk.  One may live close by and share in several of
your activities and another may live far away and connects only
periodically. 

Sometimes we choose to end a friendship and at other times that
ending is chosen for us.  When there is a
clear reason for the dissolution of the relationship it can be easier to let go
and move on but when it remains a puzzle, it can be much more difficult to
disconnect.  This rift can create a wound
in the heart that may require a healing balm; prayer, counseling or both.  There is not always a clear vision of why
someone has chosen to drop out of our lives. 
We can find ourselves wondering what we did when many times it had very
little to do with us.  I had a longtime
friend who dropped me very suddenly and no matter how I reached out, there was
absolutely no response.  I couldn’t
imagine what I had done.  Several months
later I ran into a mutual friend of ours and was told she had stopped
contacting him too.  Eventually, we found
out that she was suffering from severe depression and had disconnected herself
from everyone.  It reminded me of calling
someone and having them hang up on me as I stood there wondering what in the
world I had done to cause such a reaction only to find out there was an
emergency taking place.

There are times, however, when it is essential to end a relationship
especially when that friendship has become toxic; when the friendship saps your
energy and is causing you to become unwell. 
When you have done all in your power but to no avail to sooth the
distress this relationship is causing, it is probably time to walk away.  I feel it is best to let that person know you
wish there was another way but for your well-being you need to separate.  It’s never easy, although the other person
probably also recognizes there’s a problem. 
But, even in our difficult friendships there are blessings to be
found.  Even those people who drove us
crazy added to the fiber and the color of our lives.  Perhaps they are the reason we are as strong and
resourceful as we are; by dealing with them we learned how to care for ourselves
without holding onto any ill will.

My favorite friendships are those that develop because of similar
interests and scheduled activities.  They
always seem like the easiest.  These
remind me of baking a cake.  Once I’ve
mixed all the ingredients and poured them into the pan, I simply have to put it
in the oven and watch it rise.  But, not
all relationships afford us with those easy opportunities.  Many of my friendships must be carefully
nurtured to make sure they are sustained and continue to grow.  I may have to do this by setting aside
specific times to share a meal; perhaps it means an email or even an old
fashioned letter.  I love to send
snail-mail birthday cards.  

My goal is to maintain healthy, enriching friendships while also
keeping enough energy to care for myself. 
It can be a very thin line especially with the availability of
connecting via all the latest technologies; email, Facebook, Twitter etc.  It seems every day I decide how much energy
is going into my relationships and how much I must reserve for myself.  One way I do this is by praying daily for my
friends, those far and near, those dear and daunting, those easy and
challenging.  I believe that my prayers will
bless their lives and that way, even if I’m not actively contacting them, they
are in my thoughts and in God’s hands. 
My intention is to value each friend for who they are and what they
bring into my life.  I’m not here to
judge them.  I am here to simply accept
them and whenever possible to love and support them.  It helps me to remind myself “I accept my friends as they are, fully
appreciate the ways they bless my life and hold them in my daily prayers.”