Pope Francis

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September 16, 2015 In Affirmations, Compassion

Have Courage and Be Kind

Affirmation: I live a Christ centered life of love, hope, peace, gratitude and compassion.

LouisePenny26Book Louise Penny, the author of the crime novels about Three Pines, Canada and Inspector Gamache came to Meredith College in September of this year, 2015 to promote her newest book, The Nature of the Beast. It’s her twelfth book in this series. The auditorium was full. I guessed there to be about 300 people there. I became a fan a few years back when one of the women in my book group, Anne Brill, recommended Mrs. Penny’s work. My husband, Sandy and I like to listen to a good book if we have an extended drive and I purchased The Beautiful Mystery for us several years ago. We were immediately hooked. We can’t wait for our next long trip to delve into the newest novel and to be reunited with the inspector and the rest of our new “friends.”

ScreenShot2015-09-16at11.59.32AM Louise didn’t really speak about her books because she said she might give away some of the story line which she felt would interfere with her reader’s enjoyment. Instead she spoke about her
journey to becoming a successful writer. It wasn’t an unusual story. It took her a long time and required quite a bit of stamina and also a few serendipitous events. One event revolved around a fundraiser in a foreign country where she met her publisher, the only person with whom she had an encounter during the whole night. Her whole story was interesting but the message with which I came away was about “kindness.”

She said she modeled the inspector after her husband. If you’ve read any of her work you will know the inspector is a wonderful man. He is a family man, he cares deeply about his coworkers and he rises above the call of duty to a place of kindness and compassion. What a gift to have someone in your life like that, and especially the person with whom you’ve chosen to spend your life. I know it’s a gift because I too have a husband like that. When she spoke about the qualities these men exemplify she focused on kindness. It was a short sentence but it emphasized to
me the power of words. “It is easier to be mean than it is to be kind.” Well, I thought, isn’t that the truth!

Don’t you love it when the same message repeats itself in your life? Why, I wonder am I hearing this concept on a regular basis. What is God or simply the Universe trying to tell me? What more am I to learn? Over the last two weeks the phrase, “have courage and be kind” has appeared two more times. I bet you didn’t know that those were Cinderella’s mother’s last words to Ella. Disney’s latest adaptation of the famous fairytale added that phrase. In this edition, Cinderella wasn’t simply saved by the handsome prince, they chose to empower her with qualities that enabled her to change her life and still be compassionate. Thank heavens!

It seems to me it’s so much easier for people to be spiteful, to be right, to be “all about me and not about you.” We all recognize when we are being treating kindly. Are we called to be kind to everyone? It seems we are. We are even called to be kind to our enemies. What does that look like? Does it take more energy to be kind than mean or indifferent? Maybe it just takes a
different kind of energy. I believe it certainly takes a more conscientious effort to rise to the higher good than to sink to the lowest common denominator.

Kindness is a close relative of compassion. Many of the messages I’ve received lately in several of my readings have revolved around my responsibility to show compassion for the marginalized and suffering of the world. Compassion is kindness put into action. I believe as I age that responsibility becomes even greater. This is a time in my life when I have the luxury of having more time and how I use that time is very important. I want to leave this world a better place than I found it. I must confess there are many days when I look around and can’t even imagine what steps I can take
to help the world. It helps for me to recognize that I support several projects that reach out beyond my normal sphere of influence to the benefit of those who need exceptional help. I really can’t help the whole world but I can do some things that makes a difference or can I?

Starfish-1 Do you know the story about the boy who is throwing starfish into the ocean? A man comes along and asks him what he’s doing and he explains he’s saving lives. The man laughs and tells him he’s wasting his time; he can’t possible save all the starfish. It’s not making a difference. The boy picks up another starfish and throws it into the ocean and says, “Well, I made a difference to that one.” My sister, Gloria Hafner, was a specialized reading teacher in NY. She took one or two students at a time and helped them learn to read at or above age level. She always told anyone who would listen about her work and that she had, “made a difference to that one.”

Pope-and-Ecuadorian-woman-2015-1 At the time of this entry Pope Francis is about to come to the United States. There has been a lot of publicity revolving around his visit. His approach to the world is causing quite a stir. He seems to me to be filled with love and compassion. He wants us all to fill ourselves with these intentions and then to put them into action. He doesn’t want to hear excuses and he doesn’t want or be our judge or jury. He is encouraging everyone to hear the message of Jesus and to go forward to make the world a better place. I personally find his message and his example to be refreshing, inspirational and challenging.

One of my efforts revolves around my belief in the power of prayer. I pray the Rosary daily for those “who most need God’s mercy.” I am trusting that my prayers seep out into the universe and relieve someone’s pain and suffering. It seems to me there is so much anguish. Perhaps the world is always like it is now and we simply see it more clearly because of the media but what is taking place especially at this time with the refugees from Syria and Africa is beyond tragic.

Miracles-1 One of the conversations I’ve had recently revolved around energy and our ability to influence it. The scientist I spoke with didn’t believe there was such a thing and that the only reason there was any sort of change was due to a placebo effect. I didn’t feel qualified to argue with him but I left feeling very sad. He didn’t believe in mystery. He only believed in “mastery.” He only seemed to believe in what he could see and touch and prove. I am sure he is not alone but I need “mystery.” I need to believe that there is more to this life than what I perceive.

I don’t believe there will ever be any definite proof that our thoughts and prayers change the world but I truly believe they do. I actually embrace the mystery and imagine one day when I am no longer physically part of this world, being shown how the time and effort I made to send help to others through prayer manifested itself. It’ll be my judgment day. I’ll see where I failed to rise to the level of a higher plane and where I truly made a difference because I cared and was willing to take the time and make an effort to pray.

Maybe that’s why lately the words, “courage” and “kind” are appearing together. It may be harder to be kind than mean and kindness is a very important quality to practice but it takes courage to be compassionate. It takes the ability to “suffer with” another and that is very hard. It’s so much easier to turn off the TV or to turn away from the homeless and hungry. Pope Francis and now even
Disney are calling all of us to step outside of our comfort zone and find a way to help those in need. Perhaps it will be with prayer. Perhaps it will be only to reach out to one person, someone for whom we can claim, “it made a difference to that one.”

ScreenShot2015-09-16at12.25.49PM

October 26, 2014 In Faith

Being Catholic

Affirmation: I love being a Catholic

During this month, October 2014, the Catholic Church has been front-page news. It’s not unusual for the Church to be in the headlines. It seems to me it’s an easy target for criticism, especially in this day and time. This time the initial news being reported was more positive. Pope Francis called a synod, a group of bishops from around the world, and the discussion that came from that meeting was highly publicized. It’s unclear if everything that was written about the meeting was true but that’s nothing new for the media. The initial bent of the stories would lead most people to believe that the Catholic Church has decided to become more liberal.

At St. Benedict’s Church in Linville, NC Father Christopher Gober’s homily revolved around the procedures that are required before the Church, or what I would prefer to refer to as the hierarchy, makes any changes in Church doctrine. “It will take years.” Well, it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. The two thousand year old church has never been quick to make any changes. It took them several hundred years to forgive Galileo who they excommunicated because he claimed the earth revolved around the sun. With a history like that those of us, which includes me, who are ever hopeful that our church will become more open and accepting are not holding our breath. But, there are some signs that our Church, the people who make up the foundation of our parishes may see a greater shift towards compassion and inclusion that hasn’t appeared to be the main focus until lately.

Before the synod ever began I was listening to a Tapestry podcast with Mary Hines called, Liars, Cheats and Sinners and the writer she was interviewing, described as a Roman Catholic thinker, Mary Gordon, said she didn’t expect anything would be discussed that would make a difference for the laity. She, however, I am pleased to say, was wrong. Even if the doctrines are the same and it takes years, if ever, to make changes, Pope Francis seems to bring a whole different flavor to the meaning of our faith. When the leader of an institution calls for compassion and inclusion, when a leader in an institution is humble and deferential and when a leader of an institution leads by example and not simply with words, the institution will reflect those qualities and that, it seems to me is Pope Francis.

I may be grasping at straws here, hoping that he will bring our church to a place where many times people feel as if they simply can’t ever get it right, where many people just find it too difficult to be part of such a restrictive environment. I know in many ways the Catholic Church is a liberal institution if you compare it to many other fundamental faiths of the world but in my opinion some of the stands it takes on issues which affect so many of it’s faithful are just wrong. My hope is Pope Francis will lead these men to a place of compassion and openness so that the fastest growing religion in the United States today is not “former Catholics.”

Our Church has so much to offer and because of all the bad publicity some of which is very justified, we aren’t recognized for all our Church has done and continues to do to make this world a better place. For example, the Catholic Church feeds, educates and tends to the health of tens of thousands of people a day. The people they serve aren’t asked about their belief system or about their religion, they are simply helped. Why isn’t that ever written about in the news?

I once had someone tell me she was an Protestant because unlike Catholics she didn’t have to leave her brain at the church door. I can’t even imagine why someone would think it was all right to say that to anyone but trust me that’s not true. I have carefully considered whether or not I want to continue to be a Catholic. I’ve headed out many times; I’ve studied many faiths; I’ve read many different theologies. I finally had to recognize that I was always called back to Catholicism. That’s my home. Maybe, just by being who I am I can make a difference in the way the church responds to some of these controversial issuers. Certainly, I have a better chance than if I walked away, if I simply quit.

I had one very powerful experience of asking God in prayer what path I should follow. I didn’t’ know how the answer would come but I believe in answered prayer and I did expect an answer. The answer came in a dream. Jesus floated down, He wasn’t very clear but I was pretty sure a white floating being was divine and He said, “Jean, I am the answer for you.” I believed it then and I still believe it now. I have a dear friend who has told me for years, “I don’t let the Church interfere with my relationship with God.” That’s not good enough for me. My Church needs practices and rituals that enhance and strengthen my relationship with God and with that, my relationships with my family, friends and even my enemies and it does provide those practices. Unfortunately, the emphasis on Jesus’ message of love and compassion gets clouded and our beautiful faith gets tied up in the rules and regulations.

I love the Catholic Church. I love being a Catholic. Yes, I know it has zits and dysfunction. What family doesn’t? I have chosen to stay in this family, this place where the people I interact with are more often than not, kind, generous, compassionate and loving. I’m still a Catholic because of my belief in the sanctity of the Eucharist and the rituals of the Mass and our seven sacraments and because it has led me to this relationship with Christ that sustains me in all things.

The last headline I saw about the synod before I wrote this said, “Pope Francis: ‘God is not afraid of new things.'” Yes, I believe we are presently in the hands and heart of a loving, compassionate person who will bring our church to a place of more acceptance and kindness; who will help our parishes become places of refuge and hope; who will guide the hierarchy towards being less rule oriented and more people oriented. I’m not too hopeful about changes with the perception of women’s roles but that’s a whole other blog. I do believe, however, that our Pope Francis hasn’t left his brain or his heart at the door and I don’t believe he expects us to live our faith and our lives without deep thought and commitment.

December 16, 2013 In Uncategorized

Searching for Service

Affirmation: I pray
daily for those who most need God’s mercy and open myself to be of service to
whomever She sends me.

Pope Francis, Jorge Mario Bergoglio, has inspired the world. He was elected pope in April of this year
following the historic resignation of Pope Benedict XVI. He didn’t want to be Pope. He didn’t expect to become the Pope. He had already purchased his return ticket
for Argentina. Immediately after his
election all sorts of tales began appearing in the news. It appears he is a very newsworthy person. One of the first stories was about him paying
the bill for his hotel room, himself and then taking a taxi back to where he
needed to be. Now, I’ve done those
things many times in my life as I’m sure you may have, but no one ever thought
it was of so much interest that they announced it in the media! The behavior and words of Pope Francis have
since been announced and scrutinized. He
is both applauded and criticized. He is
unlike most world leaders and yet he is subject to the same scrutiny as all of
them. He comes up short for some but it
appears as of this date, he is mostly being hailed as a man of humility and
wisdom, two qualities we all should strive to possess but which if possessed by
our leaders make for a kinder, more compassionate society.

This month Pope Francis was named Person of the Year by Time
Magazine. It appears the criteria
for this acknowledgement is who Time believes has had the greatest
impact on society during the year. It is
not always someone who has had a positive effect on our world. The opposite is
true for Pope Francis. They named him
because of his philosophy or a better word would be theology. His mission is to provide care and dignity
for all human beings. Mother Teresa also
had that mission. It’s what Jesus Christ’s mission was when He walked on this
earth and according to our Catholic tradition Pope Francis is His
representative here, today. He is the
266th pope and so far he has shown himself to be quite unique in his role as
Pope. There’s been a photo circulating
on the internet that shows Pope Francis in one half and Pope Benedict XVI in
the other. It says “Can you see the
differences?” Unlike the Sunday
cartoon quiz which makes it difficult to pick out the different character, this
“quiz” is very easy. Pope
Francis has abandoned the fancy trappings used by the pope’s of the past.

The latest picture being circulated is of Pope Francis kissing
the head of a severely disfigured man.
There’s a rumor that he goes out into the slums of Italy and provides
solace for the populace. It is a fact
that he did this when he was in Argentina, so it’s not too farfetched to
believe he’s continued this practice.
His first encyclical addressed the distribution of wealth throughout the
world. He doesn’t believe the system
most countries, including ours works to the benefit of the neediest. Conservatives who only focus on economics
aren’t very happy with the Pope’s message but the Pope isn’t concerned with
their opinion. He is only concerned with
how society will respond to the needs of the most poor and the most suffering
of us. Yes, I said us.

In my daily reading Spiritual Insights the focus for the month of
December is unity. Each day I am
reminded that we are all one. Once you
begin to believe that, you will recognize that if one of us is suffering we are
responsible to find a way to alleviate that suffering and the world is
suffering of this there is no doubt. It
takes very little awareness to recognize the distress of this world. Sometimes when I hear some of the stories, I
am completely overwhelmed by what’s going on.
I am horrified by the cruelty. I
fully recognize that I don’t even have a clue of the horrors that are taking
place in our world even as I write this and to be honest, I really don’t want
to know the details. I only know they
exist and as the year has passed I have found myself called to step up and to
be more aware of the poor and suffering and to reach out in a way that
alleviates their suffering, perhaps even brings them joy and peace.

It’s the message I have been receiving these last few
months. It began before Pope Francis was
even elected. It has been here all along
as all important messages are but I wasn’t ready to fully embrace it. I mean what can I do to help those most in
need? The second part of that question
is, what will I be called on to do and am I ready and willing? The clearest message came from Albert Haase’s
book Catching Fire Becoming Flame.
He says that focusing on Christ
“leads us right into the heart of a suffering, needy world where we
are sent to respond lovingly to the unmet need or required duty of the present
moment.” It is our mission in
life. It is our reason for existing, to
make the world a kinder more compassionate place.

As my friend and I walked around the lake we talked about how we
can help change the world. It was a good
walk! What can we possibly do to aid in
the conversion of hearts to bring them to a place of love and peace? We can begin with ourselves. The first place where the transformation must
begin is within our own hearts. Luke
1:68-79 says “Let there be peace on hearth and let it begin with
me.” After that the soul is open to
the flame of transformation. If you take
some time every day to connect to the Divine, you will be led to opportunities
to ease the suffering of another, of others.
The opportunity is there. There
are so many ways to be of service if one is asking to receive them.

A friend of mine once stopped to talk to a man who looked quite
deranged and was obviously homeless. She
asked him how he was doing and engaged him in a very nice discussion. The rest of us had walked past, quickly. Afterwards I asked her why she had done
that. She told me she asked God every
day to send people to her who were in need and to whom she could respond. She told me she never knew where they would
appear and she couldn’t take the chance of passing someone by that might be an
answer to her prayers. Do you think her
kind words made any difference?

A study that took place in NYC had two groups of people passing
by pedestrians on a busy sidewalk. One
group would nod and smile at the stranger passing by them. The other group would ignore the
stranger. The researchers then asked the
stranger a few questions about how they were feeling. (How they got someone in NYC to stop and chat
with them was amazing to me but they did.) The people who were smiled at had a
higher level of contentment than those who were ignored. If just a simple smile from a stranger can
add to the joy of this world, what a difference we can make if we are making an
effort to ease the suffering and pain of whomever we meet and hopefully,
whomever we are holding in our prayers.

Trust me, just like my friend, once you ask God to allow you to
be of service, opportunities will present themselves and once you open yourself
up to caring about the marginalized and suffering of this world, not only will
you make a difference in other’s lives, you will make a difference in your
life. Your heart and this world will be
transformed.

April 14, 2013 In Uncategorized

Life is a Banquet

Affirmation: “The world is an amazing place and the more I learn about it and its inhabitants, the more I learn about myself.”

If you’ve ever been to Disney Land or Disney World you’ve probably been to the Small World ride that plays the song “It’s a Small World After All”, over and over and over. My children always seemed to enjoy the ride but after going on it just once, I found the song to be very disturbing.

While traveling out of the country I began to think about living in a small world. I had a tour guide hand me extra passes to the Pope’s Wednesday morning audience and say “You never know who you’ll meet. It’s a small world, especially in Rome.” In this instance, even with a million people there I didn’t meet anyone I knew. I must admit I have been very far from home when I’ve been stunned to meet someone from my local area. But, for the most part, I rarely meet an acquaintance when traveling. Mind you I meet a lot of new acquaintances, just not a lot of old ones. And, isn’t that one of the reasons to travel?

I traveled with Owen, my thirteen year old grandson to London to visit with my adult daughter Ellen and her fiancé, Adam. Then Ellen, Owen and I headed to Rome. Two years ago I took the same trip with my granddaughter, Isabelle. She too was thirteen at the time. After visiting London on that trip we then headed to Paris. Yes, I feel blessed to be able to share the world with them. I feel blessed that they want to come with me. As Isabelle and I deplaned in Raleigh and were heading towards customs, she asked me where we were going next. “We need to go through customs, Honey.” “Oh no, Grandma, that’s not what I meant.” And she smiled. Throughout this trip, Owen has suggested I adopt a “travel buddy.” He has suggested himself.

When Ellen, Owen and I were in Rome, the tour guide mentioned in passing that one corner shop had “the best gelato in Rome” and that “the line for the gelato is sometimes longer than the line to enter the Vatican.” When we finished our Vatican tour I was ready to find our way back to our hotel and rest for a while but that wasn’t Ellen’s plan. She whipped out her trusty iPhone and located that shop. We walked this way and that way and what did we find, the best gelato shop in Rome. So there we stood in line with a group of nuns from Albania who had also discovered the shop. When they told us where they were from, Ellen surprised them by announcing she’d been to Albania. The nun told her to come visit the next time she had a reason to go there. We would have missed out on that whole experience if it wasn’t for her desire to experience it all and to have the “the best gelato in Rome.”

I have friends who have traveled all over the world. They aren’t the least bit concerned with safety or even worse, Montezuma’s revenge and if they are concerned, well too bad, the adventure is more important than the worry. I think of them as having a huge appetite for life. They want to experience it all. They don’t care if they encounter challenges along the way. In fact, they relish the challenges. Remember the movie Auntie Mame with Rosalind Russell? She says, “Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death.” I don’t want to starve to death. I too want feast from the banquet of life.

What happens when one travels? Your world becomes larger. It’s true, life is a banquet. There is such diversity, so many delightful flavors. I think that’s why the Amazing Race is one of my favorite TV shows. In it a dozen or more people travel around the world engaging in the local traditions and customs of the country they are visiting. What is of the greatest interest is not what they see or do and I certainly don’t recommend racing through any worthwhile experience. What is of the greatest interest is what happens to one’s thinking when one steps outside of their box. It’s what happens inside us that’s so amazing.

We get to choose whether or not we want to live inside a tiny little box, the known world or expand the box. The world can be a scary place but at some point we will no longer be a part of it. While we are here we should embrace the concept of living in a big space, of learning about our planet and its people and therefore, about ourselves. It’s too easy to stay safe and comfortable and to let our world shrink to our size. Maybe one doesn’t really need to hop a plane or a train in order to stay green and growing. I see how small our world can become every time I visit an assisted living facility. We get to choose if we want to eat from a buffet or have the same food over and over. If travel is beyond your means, go to the library, go to the theatre, and borrow some travel videos. There is no reason in this day and age to miss out on all that’s available in the world that can nourish our minds, hearts and our souls and help us to live a life of abundance and adventure, even if we’re confined physically by old age, illness or finances.

Because of Ellen’s sense of adventure we got to meet Albanian nuns. How many people outside of Albania can claim that? Because of my sense of adventure we got to go to Mass in St. Peter’s Basilica and view the Pieta and see Pope Francis. Owen’s interests took us to see some of Banksy’s London street art. Each of us journeyed to a new place. We discovered new people, new visions, and new appreciations and therefore, we discovered more about both our outer and most important, about our inner worlds. I’m pleased my grandchildren and I have had the opportunity to travel together. This trip certainly wasn’t the first but the trip to Europe was the farthest, not however, the longest. The longest journey is the one we take to know ourselves better, the one within and by spending time together, especially in a foreign location, we learned a great deal about each other and about ourselves. We not only created some amazing shared memories but we ate from the banquet of life and it was great!

March 17, 2013 In Women

Is God is a Feminist?

Affirmation: I
believe that when the gifts of women are recognized and honored, the world is a
better place.

This week, the
second week of March, 2013 the Catholic Church elected a new pope, Cardinal
Jorge Mario Bergoglio became Pope Francis.
It didn’t seem to matter if you were a Catholic or not, the event
dominated the headlines around the world.
World headlines are normally dominated by some dreadful disaster or
horrible tragedy. I found this focus on
the election of a new the pope to be more uplifting and inspirational. The
election only took two days and five votes before white smoke, the symbol
announcing a new pope, rose above the Sistine Chapel. Tens of thousands were there waiting in the
rain for the news. Curiosity was
abundant. There had been much
speculation about who the new pope would be and now, we were to finally find
out. The questions were about whether or
not he would be a Vatican “insider.”
Would he be from Europe as were most of the former popes or would he be
from another continent? Would he be
younger than popes of the past? Would he
possess a conservative or a more liberal theological perspective? The questions and speculation were endless
and went on for weeks. There was only
one question no one was asking. Would
the new pope be a man?

This same week of
March there were at least two specials, one on 60 Minutes and one on Good
Morning America about a new book that had just been released by the COO of
Facebook, Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead. When asked if she was trying to reignite the
feminist movement she said “yes.”
She gave the statistic that only 4% of the Fortune 500 companies were
led by women and that women still only made 70 cents to the dollar that men
make. “The woman’s movement has
stalled.” she said.

This year is also
the 50th anniversary of Betty Friedan’s book, The Feminine Mystique, her
book being the reason many attribute to the beginning of the woman’s
movement.

Whether or not you
consider yourself a feminist you cannot deny that the role of women here in the
United States and in many civilized parts of the world, has changed. Many would argue it has not been for the
better. Many would argue women have only
begun to make inroads into being the dynamic influential presence they need to
be in order to bring more balance and compassion into our universe. It seems to be a topic with many emotional
ties and not a simple one. Women’s roles
in the Catholic Church have always been a topic of discussion and
controversy. Change comes very slowly to
my church but with the election of Pope Francis, I have renewed hope.

In the short time
he has been pope, the one word that is repeated most often is
“humility.” His first act
after being elected was to ask the throngs waiting in the rain to see him and
to hear him was to ask for their prayers.
Stories abound about his association with the poor, not just in name but
in deed. He cares deeply about his
people, us the church. His theology is
conservative. There will not be any
changes made to the church’s stand on the sacredness of life from the womb to
the tomb. I can guarantee that. But, perhaps with his humility he will be
more encompassing of the role of women in our church and see them as not just
holding a place of service but also deserving a place of leadership. I once
heard someone say that Jesus Christ was one of the earliest feminists. He promoted the ethical treatment of all
people without regard to their status, race or sex.

My thirteen year
old grandson asked his mom if I was a feminist.
The word feminist was said with a tone of derision. “Why” she asked. He told her it had
been explained to him that feminists hate men.
Thank heavens for the wisdom of my daughter. “Yes” she answered, “grandma
is a feminist. I am a feminist. Your step-father and your grandfather are
feminists.” She went on to explain
that a feminist doesn’t hate men. A
feminist promotes the well being of all people regardless of their gender.

I received the message
at an early age that I needed to be responsible for myself. I needed to be independent. It was before the feminist movement but it
was clear to me that I needed to find a way to care for myself. A married life,
if I married, of total domesticity would tie me to the success or failure of
another and of that relationship. Many
women have suffered devastating losses because they did not take any steps to
create a life whereby they could care not only for themselves but perhaps for
others that might come to depend on
them.

I clearly
remember reading The Feminine Mystique.
It was a time before the Internet, before Oprah Winfrey and Doctor Phil.
I had just had a baby and quit my teaching job (not in that order) when we
moved to Norwich, NY, a town of 7000 people.
I knew no one and I was lonely. I was lonely and I couldn’t figure out
why I was struggling. I had, I believed,
everything I needed. The baby was
healthy, I was healthy. My husband was
kind and generous and we were beginning a whole new life. Help!
I think if I had already read Ms. Friedan’s book, I would have wondered
if my sense of frustration was created because of it but I had not. When I read it, I knew she had written some
of it just for me. I was not alone. It gave me some comfort and a sense of
hope.

I read that most
men today want their wives to work. They
want them to bring in another income.
The days of Leave it to Beaver, Dick VanDyke or even the more recent,
Raymond are gone. The main issue however
is that women are still the main caregivers for the children and the home. It’s a heavy load and I don’t have any easy
answers for how to lighten the burden other than to choose a partner who will
willingly do their share. I am in awe of
any single parent who manages not only to balance all their responsibilities
but guides their children to successful, productive lives.

I know there are
young women out there who never think about the opportunities they now have as
being hard won by women and men before them but they were hard won. If it weren’t for their efforts, we wouldn’t
have women physicians, scientists, politicians, and attorneys. It needs to be remembered there are women in
third world countries who are very aware of the opportunities available to
women in other parts of the world and they can only dream about them.

Sheryl Sandberg’s
book and Betty Friedan’s book lead women to believe they can have it all. I hope that’s true. I hope it’s true too that with the
installation of Pope Francis my church, the Catholic Church will finally
recognize what it has been missing all these centuries. They haven’t uplifted at least half of their
population, the women of their church so many of whom are keeping the faith
alive and vibrant. Yes, I am a
feminist. I’d like to see women
priests. Id like to see a woman
pope. I’d like to see women being
treated with respect and dignity and women having the same opportunities as
anyone else. Who knows, if my wishes are
granted maybe I’ll even get to one day see a woman become president of the
United States.