Sandy Costa

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September 16, 2015 In Affirmations, Compassion

Have Courage and Be Kind

Affirmation: I live a Christ centered life of love, hope, peace, gratitude and compassion.

LouisePenny26Book Louise Penny, the author of the crime novels about Three Pines, Canada and Inspector Gamache came to Meredith College in September of this year, 2015 to promote her newest book, The Nature of the Beast. It’s her twelfth book in this series. The auditorium was full. I guessed there to be about 300 people there. I became a fan a few years back when one of the women in my book group, Anne Brill, recommended Mrs. Penny’s work. My husband, Sandy and I like to listen to a good book if we have an extended drive and I purchased The Beautiful Mystery for us several years ago. We were immediately hooked. We can’t wait for our next long trip to delve into the newest novel and to be reunited with the inspector and the rest of our new “friends.”

ScreenShot2015-09-16at11.59.32AM Louise didn’t really speak about her books because she said she might give away some of the story line which she felt would interfere with her reader’s enjoyment. Instead she spoke about her
journey to becoming a successful writer. It wasn’t an unusual story. It took her a long time and required quite a bit of stamina and also a few serendipitous events. One event revolved around a fundraiser in a foreign country where she met her publisher, the only person with whom she had an encounter during the whole night. Her whole story was interesting but the message with which I came away was about “kindness.”

She said she modeled the inspector after her husband. If you’ve read any of her work you will know the inspector is a wonderful man. He is a family man, he cares deeply about his coworkers and he rises above the call of duty to a place of kindness and compassion. What a gift to have someone in your life like that, and especially the person with whom you’ve chosen to spend your life. I know it’s a gift because I too have a husband like that. When she spoke about the qualities these men exemplify she focused on kindness. It was a short sentence but it emphasized to
me the power of words. “It is easier to be mean than it is to be kind.” Well, I thought, isn’t that the truth!

Don’t you love it when the same message repeats itself in your life? Why, I wonder am I hearing this concept on a regular basis. What is God or simply the Universe trying to tell me? What more am I to learn? Over the last two weeks the phrase, “have courage and be kind” has appeared two more times. I bet you didn’t know that those were Cinderella’s mother’s last words to Ella. Disney’s latest adaptation of the famous fairytale added that phrase. In this edition, Cinderella wasn’t simply saved by the handsome prince, they chose to empower her with qualities that enabled her to change her life and still be compassionate. Thank heavens!

It seems to me it’s so much easier for people to be spiteful, to be right, to be “all about me and not about you.” We all recognize when we are being treating kindly. Are we called to be kind to everyone? It seems we are. We are even called to be kind to our enemies. What does that look like? Does it take more energy to be kind than mean or indifferent? Maybe it just takes a
different kind of energy. I believe it certainly takes a more conscientious effort to rise to the higher good than to sink to the lowest common denominator.

Kindness is a close relative of compassion. Many of the messages I’ve received lately in several of my readings have revolved around my responsibility to show compassion for the marginalized and suffering of the world. Compassion is kindness put into action. I believe as I age that responsibility becomes even greater. This is a time in my life when I have the luxury of having more time and how I use that time is very important. I want to leave this world a better place than I found it. I must confess there are many days when I look around and can’t even imagine what steps I can take
to help the world. It helps for me to recognize that I support several projects that reach out beyond my normal sphere of influence to the benefit of those who need exceptional help. I really can’t help the whole world but I can do some things that makes a difference or can I?

Starfish-1 Do you know the story about the boy who is throwing starfish into the ocean? A man comes along and asks him what he’s doing and he explains he’s saving lives. The man laughs and tells him he’s wasting his time; he can’t possible save all the starfish. It’s not making a difference. The boy picks up another starfish and throws it into the ocean and says, “Well, I made a difference to that one.” My sister, Gloria Hafner, was a specialized reading teacher in NY. She took one or two students at a time and helped them learn to read at or above age level. She always told anyone who would listen about her work and that she had, “made a difference to that one.”

Pope-and-Ecuadorian-woman-2015-1 At the time of this entry Pope Francis is about to come to the United States. There has been a lot of publicity revolving around his visit. His approach to the world is causing quite a stir. He seems to me to be filled with love and compassion. He wants us all to fill ourselves with these intentions and then to put them into action. He doesn’t want to hear excuses and he doesn’t want or be our judge or jury. He is encouraging everyone to hear the message of Jesus and to go forward to make the world a better place. I personally find his message and his example to be refreshing, inspirational and challenging.

One of my efforts revolves around my belief in the power of prayer. I pray the Rosary daily for those “who most need God’s mercy.” I am trusting that my prayers seep out into the universe and relieve someone’s pain and suffering. It seems to me there is so much anguish. Perhaps the world is always like it is now and we simply see it more clearly because of the media but what is taking place especially at this time with the refugees from Syria and Africa is beyond tragic.

Miracles-1 One of the conversations I’ve had recently revolved around energy and our ability to influence it. The scientist I spoke with didn’t believe there was such a thing and that the only reason there was any sort of change was due to a placebo effect. I didn’t feel qualified to argue with him but I left feeling very sad. He didn’t believe in mystery. He only believed in “mastery.” He only seemed to believe in what he could see and touch and prove. I am sure he is not alone but I need “mystery.” I need to believe that there is more to this life than what I perceive.

I don’t believe there will ever be any definite proof that our thoughts and prayers change the world but I truly believe they do. I actually embrace the mystery and imagine one day when I am no longer physically part of this world, being shown how the time and effort I made to send help to others through prayer manifested itself. It’ll be my judgment day. I’ll see where I failed to rise to the level of a higher plane and where I truly made a difference because I cared and was willing to take the time and make an effort to pray.

Maybe that’s why lately the words, “courage” and “kind” are appearing together. It may be harder to be kind than mean and kindness is a very important quality to practice but it takes courage to be compassionate. It takes the ability to “suffer with” another and that is very hard. It’s so much easier to turn off the TV or to turn away from the homeless and hungry. Pope Francis and now even
Disney are calling all of us to step outside of our comfort zone and find a way to help those in need. Perhaps it will be with prayer. Perhaps it will be only to reach out to one person, someone for whom we can claim, “it made a difference to that one.”

ScreenShot2015-09-16at12.25.49PM

November 3, 2013 In Uncategorized

Blessings Recognized

Affirmation: I recognize
the blessings I receive when I share my time, treasure and talent with those in
need.

On two occasions during this October, 2013, my husband, Sandy
Costa was invited to be the Master of Ceremonies for the Ronald McDonald House
of Durham, NC. The events began at 7:45
AM and lasted an hour. A full breakfast
was served along with some of the most heartwarming and heart rendering stories
I have ever heard. For me, the stories
that revolve around the struggle to live are always both inspirational and in
many cases achingly sad. This event
revolves around the challenges being faced by children, little tiny ones and
their families and the service, the hope and the comfort that this organization
provides for them regardless of who they are or how much they have. The Ronald McDonald House had set up these
two breakfasts, among other events, to give others the opportunity to be of
service to their residents and future residents. They are giving people the opportunity to
reach out and to make a difference in the lives of someone who is suffering,
someone they probably do not even know.

The first event of the month was at The Tobacco Warehouse in
Durham and about 400 people attended.
Sandy didn’t really say much to me about his role and he’s often invited
to speak to groups, both large and small so I didn’t pay a lot of attention to
his project. Sometimes he speaks for a
fee but many times he speaks to simply be of service. This, of course was an example of the
later. I was pleased for him that he was
asked and to be given the opportunity but I didn’t attend. Actually, he didn’t invite me and I wrote it
off as simply another of his speaking engagements. Wow, did I get that one wrong!

He invited me to the second event held in Raleigh at the NC State
McKimmon Center. A friend and pet
therapy volunteer, Ann Henderson, asked me to sit with her group of
invitees. I was delighted to be
included. Ann brought Bailey, her
wonderful warm friendly doggie. The two
of them also visit my mom once a week at my mom’s assisted living
apartment. It is the highlight of my
mom’s week. So I can imagine how much
joy Ann and Bailey bring to the residents of The Ronald McDonald House. They raised an amazing $260,000 during the
one hour breakfast. Why?

Sandy wasn’t the only host.
He had a co-host, Sosa. Sosa is
thirteen. She had on a black dress with
silver sequins across the top. She
walked to that podium like she did it every day. I was once told the second greatest fear
after death is speaking into a microphone.
It was obvious Sosa had already conquered her 1st fear. You can watch her at: Watch Sosa She then started by apologizing for not
wearing the red sneakers with the orange laces that she had been given, her
Ronald McDonald sneakers. “They
really don’t go with my outfit” she said.
Then she shared what it meant to her and her family to have a place, The
Ronald McDonald House, to stay at while she was receiving her second bone
marrow transplant. Her mother had slept
in their car for two months until space became available at “The
House.”

During the breakfast there were four other speakers, three sets
of parents and Oie Osterkamp, the director of the Durham Ronald McDonald
House. There was also a video which
showed the journey of another teenage girl.
I cried on and off throughout the entire program. Who wouldn’t?
Who can be among families who have undergone so much in an effort to
make sure their child survives and not be emotionally moved? Obviously, not many of us. When Sandy finally made the plea for money
the audience responded with generosity and caring. The pledge card was not just for money. It also included a section for visits and
volunteers. They accept any help they
can get. I have friends who shop for,
purchase and cook one meal a month for the entire RMH in Greensboro, NC. Time, treasure and talent were all greatly
appreciated.

My experience has taught me that whenever I think I’m being
magnanimous and generous to someone or to some cause, I discover that I am the
receiver more than the giver. It’s a
gift to me when someone invites me into their lives and permits me to be of
service. The book I’m now reading, Catching
Fire, Becoming Flame says our first responsibility is to be of service to
those who are less fortunate than we.
Discovering what our gifts are and how we can best help another is
actually a responsibility. We are called
to service. We are called to help and
support one another.

If you watch the news we are led to believe we are not a caring
species. The media almost never reports
on something uplifting and positive. But,
Sandy and I are involved in many different charities and we know people both of
our church and of no church, who lead lives which epitomize the phrase
“giving back.” It seems to me
if we watch our fellow man and woman carefully we will see we are a caring,
generous, even loving species. We like
to help others. We like to make a
positive difference in the lives of those around us, both those we know and in
the case of these two breakfasts, in the lives of complete strangers. We must be an amazing group of beings. These two events, two one hour events raised
over $400,000 and I am sure generated a lot of interest for volunteer
opportunities. Most people want to help
others. Sometimes it simply takes being
presented with an opportunity. These two
events were a perfect example of creating an opportunity for people to feel
good about themselves by sharing their bounty with others. For me, the blessing was to be included in my
husband’s caring spirit. Actually, one
of my greatest blessings is that I am an integral part of Sandy’s generous
loving heart.

May 5, 2013 In Yoga

Golf & Lessons Learned

Affirmation:
Every
life experience leads to wisdom and knowledge.

On
June 19th, 2011 Rory McIlroy won the US Open in golf. I am married to a golfer and my adult son,
Joey, has given up sky diving and taken up golf. (Thank You, Lord!) Considering Sandy and I have been married for
almost 45 years, I have learned a lot about the sport. I have never considered myself a golfer but I
have played golf for over forty years, ever since I married. Sandy is an amazing golfer. Truly, his game is superb and it’s such fun
to watch him play.

I
use to resent his dedication to this past time. When I had three young
children, the time away from the family required by golf and desired by my
husband was onerous for me. But, now with
the children grown and on their own, I can see the sport in a different
light. Actually, over the last few
summers, I might even occasionally refer to myself as a “golfer.”

Many
years ago I read James Dobson’s, Final Rounds. It completely changed the way I saw the
sport. It truly was a life changing
read. It helped too that my children
were older and I had a little more free time.
But, when I read the memories that he and his dad had collected
together, I better understood the appeal of the game. Golf wasn’t just “a good walk spoiled” as
Mark Twain said; it was about so much more.
It was about relationships and adventures and shared experiences. I took it to heart and started focusing on
those aspects and not how many times I was hitting (or swinging) at that little
ball. Yes, something changed. I started
having more fun and truly valuing the time I spent with Sandy and now with my
son. Sometimes my daughter-in-law, Belen,
joins us on the course as Joey’s chauffeur.
It can be a delightful day and I really have learned to value the
experience.

Part
of our shared interest lies in occasionally watching the major tournaments with
my family. The US Open is one of
them. The 2011 US Open was especially
exciting. Rory McIlroy (22 years) won.
He’s from Northern Island. Not only did
he win but he broke all sorts of records.
He shot 65-66-68-68. He was as
much as 17 under par at one point. He
went into the tournament winning by 8 strokes.
These are unheard of accomplishments.

That’s
all wonderful and exciting but for me it was the story behind his win that
touched my heart. His father was there;
it was his Father’s Day present. The
story that emerged was of a family of very hard working people. His dad had worked as a janitor and when his
son showed an interest in golf, he became the bar tender at the golf club so
that they could afford his lessons. When
he accepted his award, he didn’t’ leave out his “mum” either. He said it was because of their hard work and
sacrifice that he was there today.

The
media spent a great deal of time talking about this young man’s loss at the
2010 Masters in Augusta. They kept
talking about how he was winning by 4 strokes when the final round began, and
then he “fell apart.” Everyone was
amazed that he had pulled himself together so quickly and was doing so
well. Some thought he might never
recover from such a devastating loss. It
was one of the questions presented to him several minutes after accepting the
US Open trophy. The announcer asked him
to speak about losing the Masters and what that had been like. Ready?
“The Masters was a very valuable experience for me. I learned a few things about myself and my
game.”

One
day I went to play golf with the “big girls.”
These are the ladies who play golf often and for the most part, quite
well. I was way outside of my comfort
zone.

Golf, yoga, and tennis are the three main physical
activities in which I’ve participated. I
think there’s so much to learn about myself and sometimes others from watching
the behavior that is exhibited during the event, the match. Concentration, perseverance, balance,
forgiveness, humor, humility and graciousness are required of the civil player
and many times, more than one aspect at a time is required.

The psychology of 18 holes of golf is again a microcosm
of our lives. How do we interact with
others? Are we kind, considerate,
deferential, polite, encouraging? And,
how do we treat ourselves? Do we berate
ourselves when we hit a bad shot? Are we
annoyed when someone else does better?
Can we focus regardless of what else is going on? What are we thinking about; is it lunch or
dinner, or are we present to the experience?
Do we notice not only the condition of the course but the topography,
the fresh air and the beautiful vistas?

Whatever we are doing on the golf course, we are
repeating in our daily lives. Our
behavior both towards others, ourselves and the experience reflects our
behavior through our lives.

Yes, it’s the same in many sports. If you watch carefully, you’ll see all your
faults surface but keep watching, be aware and you’ll be able to notice your
strengths too. Perhaps, it will be as
simple as being able to share time with your loved ones, your buddies, a kind
partner and when asked how you played, even if the game didn’t go as you had
hoped, even though you didn’t feel you played your best game, you answer,
“Wow! I had a great time!”

Rory
McIlroy was much wiser than his 22 years.
It takes some of us a lifetime to discover that every life experience leads
to wisdom and knowledge. It’s all up to
us how we perceive it and whether or not we value every single one of them,
both the accomplishments and the disappointments. Like Rory, it can lead us to championship
skills, the skills of leading a rewarding, fulfilling life.

And, just in case you’re curious, I played ok on that
outing with the “big girls.” I would
even say, on that day, I was really and truly a “golfer.”

October 21, 2012 In Uncategorized

Reach Your Full Potential

Affirmation: I encourage my loved ones to reach their full potential.

This week I am sharing what my husband of many years wrote about his 2012 experience at the JCC Folk School. I am so excited to know he has decided to use his hands more often to get in touch with his creative self. I usually have a whole list of things for him on the weekends, all of which involve some sort of “hands on” activity. I can’t wait to tell him my affirmation and encourage him to reach his full potential. I know he’ll be so excited!

“Look at what I made!” The Hand Teaches the Mind Many Useful Things

Posted on October 13, 2012by Santo Costa

Last week I made the wooden bowl pictured here. Crafting this bowl is one of my most satisfying accomplishments in quite some time. It’s also a surprise that I could actually do it, adding to the pleasure and humor of the thing. At this point you may be saying to yourself, “This poor guy has lived a pretty shallow, uninteresting life.” But hear me out. The point is that I made the bowl with my hands.
Jean Anne and I have just returned from our annual pilgrimage to the John C. Campbell Folk School, at Brasstown, North Carolina, in the Blue Ridge Mountains, far from the city. The school is one of the most creative learning centers in the country. Based on the Danish folk school model, it was founded in 1925 by John Campbell’s wife, Olive. Today it provides year-round weeklong and weekend classes for adults in craft, art, music, dance, cooking, gardening, nature studies, photography, and writing. As the school’s literature says, students’ experiences “in non-competitive learning and community life are joyful and enlivening”–exactly what we needed!

Folk schools are non-competitive, allowing students to learn at their own rate. As the website explains, “The folkehojskole (folk school) had long been a force in the rural life of Denmark. These schools-for-life helped transform [the people of] the Danish countryside into a vibrant, creative force. The Campbells . . . establish[ed] such a school in the rural southern United States as an alternative to the higher-education facilities that drew young people away from the family farm.”
This year I took a course in wood turning. I was taught by two highly skilled instructors how to carve a bowl out of a quartered log, a piece of wood in all ways similar to countless pieces of fuel I feed to our wood-burning stove with nary a thought. Another thing that was so remarkable is that at first I couldn’t imagine where the bowl “resided in” the piece of wood. Slowly, by starting out on the project though feeling I was working somewhat in the dark, I learned to see. And I recalled that after Michelangelo had completed his “David,” he was asked to explain how he’d taken a raw block of marble and carved the elegant yet strong figure of the young man. “He was in there,” the sculptor replied. “As I carved the marble away, piece by piece, I simply set him free—and there he stands.”
I chuckled to myself at that thought, knowing my 3-D imaginative gifts were far from the Italian master’s. But as I worked on the lathe, learning patience and focus, slowly finding the bowl’s best nature and adapting my hand and eye to what in nature that might be, I found myself becoming engrossed in the activity. I was soon completely caught in the moment. And I started to see, too, how therapeutic it is to work with your hands, bringing your own hands and eyes, your own energy into harmony with nature’s energy.

There is a frequent match play—a verbal game, where we fence about unanswerable, and in most cases highly impractical, questions—“What is more difficult, more trying, to work with your hands or be making a living in a manner that is less physical, more brainy?” My answer is who cares? Particularly because there is a cultural elitism that believes folks who work with their hands are a notch below cerebral wage-earners. Rather, I suggest that a more rewarding exploration would be to reflect on which type of work is more nurturing? And, following on that, how can we make the other type of work, the head-centered kind, more nurturing too?
Understand that I am not suggesting that we slide out of our current vocations and apprentice to a blacksmith or a cobbler or a wheelwright. What I am suggesting is that instead of relying on the latest self-help book to right a teetering psyche via reading the book, a mental activity, let’s think about making a quilt or binding a book—really! When Charles Darwin was worrying over a difficult issue, he would go into his garden and weed the flower beds. Winston Churchill built stone fences when his decisions and responsibilities were weighing too heavily. Surely you know countless individuals who have been eager to retire into a more intensive study and practice of their favorite hobby, often one that caused them to create things with their eyes and hands in concert.
The fact is that working with our hands is one of the most powerful forms of meditation I can imagine. When you turn wood as it spins on the lathe and your cutting tool unearths the layers of cellulose fibers, you see a constantly changing symphony of rings. Colors appear against a background as you discover embedded knots and imperfections. Can you imagine a more magical way to employ your hands and your mind! And all of this benefit is without even mentioning the obvious: at the end of the project, you have made something new, something fine that wasn’t there before; and since you are now an artisan, not an artist, the new creation is beautiful and useful.
Because of my experience at the folk school, I’ve come to see that the best way to flourish at your thought-work daily is to make sure you take time daily, or perhaps for a good part of the weekend, to work with your hands. If your business has a mission of understanding more closely the world or some aspect thereof while improving the lives of others—and whose does not?—then work toward completing that mission by sculpting, building, making something every week. Here’s why: J. Bronowski, in his 1973 book The Ascent of Man, writes that “Discovery is a double relation of analysis and synthesis together. As an analysis, it probes for what is there; but then, as a synthesis, it puts the parts together in a form by which the creative mind transcends the bare limits, the bare skeleton, that nature provides. . . . Thus, we have to understand that the world can only be grasped by action, not by contemplation” or intellectual problem-solving at our desks or in conference. “The hand is more important than the eye,” Bronowski concludes.

As I turned the lathe and carved my bowl last week, I was practicing bringing together analysis and synthesis of sensed data—wood, carving tool, force, motion, my hand in time—to make and do something—learning a practice that will help me to do a better and healthier job daily in what some people call my real work. But now I know that there’s more to preparing for that work than I thought. Plus, Jean Anne and I have a light-filled wooden bowl to use in our house.

August 8, 2012 In Uncategorized

Miraculous Happenings

Affirmation:
My
life is Joy filled, Miracles occur, Love surrounds me and permeates every
aspect of my existence.

We all know that
in the classic Alice in Wonderland, Alice jumps down a rabbit hole into a whole
other unknown, full of adventure, self-examining world. Sometimes we are pushed down that hole and
sometimes we choose to jump but either way, we get to decide what we’ll learn
and what we’ll take away from our experiences.

After being
treated for breast cancer in 1999, I was left feeling very unsure of what I
should be doing for myself. During the
intense treatment, which for me lasted almost a year, I was well cared for and
in constant contact with my doctors and other caregivers. Then the day came when I was
“released.” I had had my last radiation treatment. We, the family and I, actually threw an
“end of radiation celebration.” Sure, I was scheduled for follow up
mammograms and yearly checkups but other than that I was on my own. Yes, in many ways we are always “on our
own” as we go through cancer but for me, being released, while a reason
for celebration, was also very scary. I
began looking for those things that might help me feel supported, educated and
uplifted.

As a long time
yoga practitioner, I turned to the yoga world to see what might be out
there. It was in 2000 that I made my
first trip to Kripalu Yoga Center in The Berkshires of Massachusetts. It was there that I had the thought about
creating a yoga retreat for breast cancer survivors. I envisioned several days at the beach,
yogaing, resting, swimming, talking, and breathing! In 2005 the first Pink Ribbon Yoga Retreat
for women breast cancer survivors became a reality. My jump down the rabbit hole had taken me to
one of the most amazing, fulfilling adventures of my life.

As of this writing
here in 2012, a few hundred women have experienced all the things I envisioned
and so much more than I ever imagined.
This retreat has been Spirit Driven and Divinely Blessed since its
inception. Have you ever been involved
in something like this, something that takes on a life of its own, something
that comes together and blossoms with a miraculous aura?

I have never
approached an individual or an organization that has not generously agreed to
help us in whatever way they could. The
first person to say yes was Rhonda Bailey, a yoga instructor and friend. She set the standard for everyone else. After that, with the support of The Duke
Cancer Patient Support program, we were ready to go. Our teachers generously volunteer their time and
talent. Our friends and family come
forward every year to help defray the costs and to provide scholarships for
those who are unable to pay. One woman took it upon herself to buy cushy beach
towels for everyone. We had homemade
biscotti and pound cake. A local
ice-cream shop donated sundaes for everyone and one of our committee members
made the supreme effort to go taste several of the flavors beforehand. Every year we raise enough money with the
efforts of my husband, Sandy, to help pay for anyone who wants to come on
scholarship. It’s phenomenal how it all
comes together and it’s obvious to all of us there that the success of this
event is beyond anything most of us have ever experienced. It has to have the hand of God in it.

Who comes to a retreat
like this? Well, obviously, women who
have experienced breast cancer.
(Although we have many people who want to come but don’t want to qualify
to come.) But, really what type of individual attends an event like this? I am here to tell you, they are amazing
individuals. They come from all over the
country. Most of the women have heard
something about what goes on but it really is an unknown entity. Many have never practiced yoga; many come
without knowing anyone else. Some are in
the middle of treatment others have been out of treatment for years. They don’t know what the accommodations are
like, who their roommate may be or what the food is like but they come
anyway. They are the type of person who
isn’t afraid to jump down the rabbit hole.
They are amazing, brave, adventurous human beings and when we gather we
get to share the adventure.

The focus of the
retreat, believe it or not, is not breast cancer. Yes, we all have that in common and yes, the
subject comes up and people share experiences and more often than not, they
share what worked for them. The focus of
the retreat is living life to the fullest.
Each year, as in most yoga practices, we take an intention. The first year the intention was that “it was
a joyful experience for Everyone involved.”
One year we focused on an “Open Heart.”
We also took the intention to “Stay in the Moment.” In 2008, our intention was to “Marvel in the
Mystery.”

The retreat
provides multiple healing modalities.
Besides yoga, which in itself is multi-dimensional; there’s the ocean,
art-therapy, massage therapy, silent walks and Yoga Dance. Some people relate to some and not to other
modalities. Other people need a little bit
of all of them but either way they all lead to an increased sense of well-being
and support.

We begin and end
the retreat with a Sharing Circle. I’m
sure there are many such rituals involved with other gatherings but I was
introduced to this ritual at Kripalu.
There are many guidelines. The
first, of course, is confidentiality. We
go on to talk about using the “I” word, not the community “we.” Only one person is allowed to speak at a time
and it’s highly recommended that everyone actively listen and not plan what
they might want to say. In between each
speaker we take a collective in breath and sigh it out. We imagine clearing the psychic white board
in the middle of the circle. There are
other suggestions but these are the main ones.
What happens during the circles? What happens during the four days? Miracles occur.

Miracles, you say?
What is miraculous about ice-cream and beach towels and homemade
goodies? Well, for one thing they simply
appear, like the manna in the dessert.
We never ask for these treasures.
But, what is really miraculous is what happens to the mind, body and
spirit of each of the ladies and our one man (He’s the breast cancer counselor
for the DCPSP.) by the end of the four
days. A light comes on in each person. There has been healing; there’s been a
renewed sense of hope. The women have
found camaraderie and acceptance. We
have laughed, cried, played, swam, created, danced and done yoga. We have found power, the power in each of us
and as a group. The event is laced with
miracles especially the overwhelming feeling of love that permeates each person
including me, as the retreat comes to a close.

If you’re interested in attending, you can look us up on
PinkRibbonYoga.org.