Stephen Levine
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Just Breathe

Affirmation: I take several deep belly breaths throughout the day.

 

YogaBreathingorPranayama28129Stephen Levine, author and death and dying guru, presented several workshops in the 1990’s at Duke for The Flying Monkey Foundation. It was the first time I heard the expression “soft belly.” He suggested that one easy way to reduce tension was to let the belly relax, to maintain a soft belly. It seemed then as it still does now to be the opposite of the cultural norm. As far as I can see, most of our society is focused on tight abs and six or even eight pack “wash boards”. For most, the bulging belly is not a thing of beauty unless it’s filled with the potential of new life.

One of the eight limbs of yoga is pranayama, focusing on the breath. There are many different breathing modalities. Some require short shallow pants, others slow deep breaths. Some focus on nasal breathing, others include mouth breathing. Some encourage making sounds, others are completely silent but the one thing they all have in common is that they keep you present to the moment. As soon as you stop focusing on the breath, you’ve lost your concentration. One of the easiest breaths to practice is “dirgha” breath. You inhale through your nose and slowly fill your lungs. You begin with the upper part of your lungs, the chest area. Then you go to the middle part, expanding the area around the heart finally you let the breath expand into the bottom of your
lungs, the belly section. It’s the deepest breath you can take. Once you have filled all three parts of the lungs, you slowly exhale from the top down, like you’re pouring out a pitcher of liquid.
You squeeze out every last drop so that all the stale air from the very bottom of your lungs is expelled. In the process, your heart rate slows, your blood pressure drops and your mind calms.

breathe-2It seems like such a simple, essential rule, “Take a deep breath.” How many times have you heard that statement, especially when someone is becoming agitated? “Take a deep breath!” It would seem like the most natural thing in the world to remember to breathe, but we forget. How many times do we find ourselves holding our breath? One of the women in my fiddle group forgets to breathe every time she’s learning a new song. I know whenever I’m faced with a sudden shock, I hold my breath. It’s my first reaction. There’s also the fight or flight reaction to distress which means our breath becomes faster and more shallow. That’s why some people actually faint in those situations.

img-rex-wellness-carylocation-2Yoga, practiced properly always includes a focus on the breath. Sometimes the teacher will instruct you when to inhale and when to exhale, other times they may simply tell you to “watch” your breath and to decide for yourself. “Watching,” the breath, however, is always an important part of the practice. I begin all my classes and my personal practice by calling attention to the breath. “Watch the rise and fall, the in and out, the up and the down.” Just by creating that simple awareness, the body and mind unite and calm. Taking it one step further, you can let your exhale be longer than your inhale. That has been shown to engage the parasympathetic nervous system: The part of the involuntary nervous system that serves to slow the heart rate, increase intestinal and glandular activity, and relax the sphincter muscles. Karin Johnson, yoga teacher extraordinaire at Rex Wellness in Cary took our inhale and exhale to another level at one of our recent classes. “What qualities can you take in on your inhale? What can you release on your exhale?” Ah, the gift of time deliberately spent moving and breathing.

What additional benefits come from breathing “properly” by taking deep belly breaths? Recently I learned that if we want to keep our internal organs healthy and perky, we should not be holding in our abdominals. For me, that seemed completely the opposite of what I’d learned over the years. I’ve always made an effort to contract my abdominals but I have now been instructed by my PT, Sarah Talley, to let my belly “blossom.” It has been explained to me that by sucking in my gut, I’m pushing my internal organs down and constricting their ability to properly function. It makes sense but I must say letting my belly be soft is taking a very concentrated effort.

sorrow-2My intention for the year has been to “let go of struggle.” I never dreamt, however, that would include letting my belly relax but that’s what I’m being guided to do. In his book, Unattended Sorrow,
Recovering from Loss and Reviving the Heart, Stephen Levine offers this advice,

As we soften the belly, letting go of trying to control the rise and fall of each breath but instead observing it as sensations come and go with each inhalation and exhalation, we begin to free level after level of holding. In the levels and levels of softening are levels and levels of letting go. Let old holdings begin to float in the new openness created by softening, as there arises a new willingness to heal, to go beyond our pain. As we begin to soften the belly, we unburden the body and mind of their automatic withdrawal from and walling-off of pain. As these burdens begin to lift, we find ourselves a bit lighter and the road ahead that much easier to travel; we’re a bit more able to continue on with our lives.

He goes on to suggest we make a conscious decision to soften the belly several times throughout the day and that many people who use this practice claim “a better day.” Give it a try. Take a deep “dirgha” breath and let the belly expand and then slowly let it release. Not only will you be improving your day but your health. All those crunched up organs will thank you and you might just find that by softening your belly, you also soften your heart. There will be more room for healing and for love.

Younger Next Year

Affirmation: The
Best is yet to come.

What
age would you tell someone you are if you didn’t know what age you are?  Stephen Levine asked this question at a
seminar on Death and Dying that he was presenting many years ago.  Sometimes, I find myself asking myself that
question.  When I’m on a golf course, I
feel about 25.  Not because I’m a good
golfer but because I always feel like a newbie even though I have played on and
off for over 40 years.  After I was
treated for cancer, I aged about ten years, in one year.  Before cancer I would have answered that I
was about 35, after cancer I felt like 45. 
I guess that was ok since at the time I was treated I was 52.  I haven’t “aged” much over the last two
decades which makes me wonder if that shows a lack of maturity, a lack of
self-awareness or complete denial about the passing of time. 
My
first visit to Canyon Ranch in Arizona was over a decade ago.  I was looking for a way to learn about how to
best take care of my health and I had read a lot about the resort and decided
to give it a try.  It’s a wonderful
place, very holistic and almost surreal. 
It met all my expectations.  While
there the founder and owner, Mel Zuckerman did an early morning presentation
about the beginning of the ranch and why he started it.  He was very dynamic and I found his story to
be quite inspirational.  He said when he
first arrived in Arizona he was not in good health.  One of the first tests he took determined his
“age” based on his physical condition. 
He was about 55 at the time and the test came back that he was in his
70s. Now, he was in his 70s and after years of training and healthy food and
other practices, his “age” tested at 55. 
At the time that seemed like a radical concept, becoming “younger”
as one ages but now there is a lot of information about getting stronger and
healthier as we age.  One of my personal
favorites is Younger Next Year by Chris Crowley and Henry S. Lodge, M.D.
A
friend told me “Growing old is not for the weak of heart.”  I know the number one determining factor about
how we age is our genes.  It’s also the
number one factor determining if we age, but the second most influential factor
is how and what we think about the aging process.  In the Omega Institute’s first Conscious
Aging conference one speaker shared his research into the number one factor
concerning the age at which we will die. 
After years of research, he found it was determined mostly by when we
thought we would die. 
As
of this writing my mother’s best friend is 96. 
Many mornings when I am entering the gym at 9 or 9:30, she is on her way
out.  She has already finished her
workout.  She peddles the bike for 15
minutes, she uses the rowing machine for 15 minutes and then she does the
weight machine circuit.  She drives
herself there and then she heads to Trader Joe’s for her daily shopping
expedition.  She is one of my
heroines.  She had a broken tibia when
she was 94 and was in rehab for almost 9 months.  I was sure that was “it” for her.  I couldn’t imagine her recovering from such a
break at such an advanced age.  It’s good
I didn’t share that with her because she never doubted she was going to heal
and return to living in her own home on her own and back to a full, rich life
and so she did!
Have
you listened to what people say about their health?  Have you had the opportunity to hear people
speak about their memories, their backs, their knees, eyes, hearing, stomachs,
etc?  It seems a day never passes when
someone isn’t claiming that age is the reason for some ailment with which they
are dealing.  People seem to be looking
for a reason why they are deteriorating and it’s so easy to claim it’s age
related. 
Dr.
Andrew Weil had a PBS special on how to live a healthier older life.  He recognized that the body does change.  We are always changing and that we might need
to make adjustments as we go along.  Most
of us seem to fall into that category and then there are the people who are in
their 80’s or 90’s and are still running marathons.  What works for one simply may not work for
another.  We need to create a personal
life plan for each individual.
My
cousin’s mother was almost 100 when she was diagnosed with dementia.  Of course, they were told, it was a normal
condition for someone her age.  Another
physician asked the family if their mother had been tested for a thyroid
problem.  No, she had not been
tested.  A few days after beginning the
proper medication, she was back to her normal self. 
Do
yourself a favor, don’t claim your ailments. 
Certainly, they can be a part of your life but let them be just that, a
part of your life.  Don’t let them
determine who you are.  Don’t identify
with them.  Even a serious diagnosis does
not have to determine your identity.  I
have met more people who introduce themselves to me by telling me about their
physical challenges.  Sometimes, it’s the
first thing they tell me after their name. 
I want to shout “Get behind me Satan! 
Don’t do that!  You are greater
than whatever ailment you’re dealing with. 
Find another way to view yourself, to view your problem.”  Truly, it’s not a lack of compassion on my
part.  It’s actually very
compassionate.  I want to tell them they
are injuring themselves even further by focusing on their diagnosis.  Put it aside, put it on a shelf and go do
something fun or better yet, go do something for someone else. 
You
have the power to heal yourself!  It is
within all of us.  Claim it!  Yes, it may mean making some changes, getting
help.  It may mean medication, surgery, a
change in diet or exercise but listen closely and you will know what you need
to do to help yourself.  But, the first
thing you need to do is to not identify with your diagnosis.  You need to find a way to make peace, to just
allow it to be and to move away and forward. 
You’ve seen them and you’ve met them, people who don’t only refuse to
allow their ailments and disabilities interfere with their lives but who thrive
in spite of them.  It is possible for all
of us. 

What
do you think the Olympic Athletes tell themselves?  Do you think they focus on their aches, pains
or ailments?  What about Oscar Pistorius,
the “fastest man on no legs.” He’s had a double below the knee
amputation and runs on two artificial limbs. 
He competed in the 2012 London Olympics. 
How hard do you think that was? 

Rachel
Naomi Remen in Kitchen Table Wisdom speaks about healing.  She says that sometimes we will not be cured
but we can always be healed.  What we
think about, we bring about.  You might
be dealing with a serious illness but if you choose your thoughts carefully,
you will know you are a glorious creature of God.  You are beautiful!  You are amazing!  You still have a life to live and love to
bestow!  We need to hold onto the belief
that the Best is yet to come and that
we get to choose whether or not to believe it and whether or not we will create
it.
Once
again, we get to choose.  We decided day
to day, moment to moment how we perceive ourselves; how we perceive our
abilities; how we perceive our bodies. 
It’s our greatest power.  It’s the
one thing we have total (at most times) control over.  Claim your health!  Claim your strength!  Whatever it is that is interfering with your
optimal health needs to be reframed, adjusted. 
You may not have to put on two artificial limbs, thank God, but maybe
you need to put on an artificial aid, a new thought process to enable you to
compete in the race of life.
“Healing
may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go of everything that
isn’t you – all of the expectations, all of the beliefs – and becoming who you
are.”