Stress
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Just Pick Up the Phone

Affirmation:  When I quickly and directly resolve an issue,
I feel less stressed and more peaceful.

This is the age of electronic
communications.  On Longmire, one
of my favorite TV shows, Longmire’s deputy checked the victim’s phone for text
messages rather than for phone calls. 
And, that was the correct method for finding out about the victim’s
activity.  It’s so very easy to send a
text, an email or a tweet but it isn’t necessarily the quickest way to
communicate with someone.  One day my
grandson texted me from another room in our home to ask me a question.  I thought he’d left without telling me and I
panicked but he hadn’t.  He’s 13 at this
writing.  If he continues along this
path, he may not make it to 14.

Recently, I’ve had several
situations that were making me a little anxious.  In all cases I had emailed the person or the
company and had either not received an answer or I didn’t get the answer I
wanted.  The first issue was with amazon.com. I had bought a faucet for our
kitchen.  The kitchen was being remodeled
and by the time the plumbers were ready to install the faucet, my return date
had passed.  The faucet didn’t fit.  When I went online to return it, I got the
pop-up that it was too late to send it back. 
I was quite annoyed and then I thought, “Just pick up the
phone.”  I had a quick conversation
with a very nice person and he waved the return date so I could send it
back.  It was easy but if I hadn’t made
the phone call, I’d still own that faucet.

I was on a roll now.  I’ve become my Mom’s financial
caretaker.  She’s always done an amazing
job with her resources but it had become too much for her.  Her credit card bill came and I put it on the
shelf.  For the first time in her life,
her next credit card bill came with a service charge on it.  Oh my! 
I was in trouble!  It was quite a
penalty for a very small overdue balance. 
I picked up the phone and spoke with a very nice young woman.  I guessed she could immediately see the bill
had never been late before and she immediately took off the penalty fee.  Whew!

It seems this is the lesson I
needed to learn at this time.  Once I
began looking at different situations with an eye towards finding easier,
quicker resolutions, more and more opportunities kept presenting
themselves.  I found with each episode
that came up if I acted immediately and directly rather than just mulling over
what to do, I was less stressed and more peaceful.

The faucet wasn’t the only
remodeling snafu.  We had hired a very
nice young man to be our contractor and he seemed quite efficient.  At the beginning of the project he put
together some sort of computer notification system than showed us the exact
time of each part of the job and the exact cost of every single step.  Over the next few weeks that program would
pop up almost daily with some sort of time change or even worse, some sort of
price increase.  Needless to say I was
becoming more and more anxious every time I’d see an email with his company’s
name on it.  At first I found my stomach
would knot up and my head would begin to ache but then I changed my approach
and when something was changed, I’d call him and many times he’d relieve my
anxiety with a detailed explanation or he’d remove the extra fee because he’d
made a mistake.  (I chose to believe it
was an error.) With that phone call came the ability for me to take deeper
breaths and relax about whatever was being presented.

Even with my family I’ve noticed
how often we now text or email one another rather than calling, although not as
readily as my grandson.  All too often I
wasn’t getting an answer to my questions or they were wondering why I hadn’t
replied to their queries.  Usually it was
because the emails got lost in the ether somewhere.  But, with a simple phone call, whatever
question we had would be resolved, immediately.

 

Since this was my
lesson for now, I began to wonder if I shouldn’t apply it to my prayer life
too.  How often did I obsess over some
life issue that needed to be let go of and turned over to God?  What if I took my new lesson and rather than
letting the issue weigh me down, I immediately “picked up the phone”
and shared it with The Lord?  What would
that look like?  What number would I
dial?  I closed my eyes and sat quietly
and envisioned the phone.  It wasn’t a
cell phone.  Interestingly, it was an old
fashioned phone like the one in Dr.
Strangelove
with Peter Sellers and it was red. 
Of course it was because in the movie the red phone was a direct line to
the President.  I didn’t need a phone
number at all.  I just needed to pick up
that old fashioned red phone and God would be on the other end.  God is always on the other end, waiting for
me to call.  Once I’ve taken the time and
made the effort to connect, I am connected. 
No, the situation may not be resolved as quickly as it was at amazon.com or LL Bean although it might be, but I
quickly realized I felt better about my concerns.  By taking the time to “call” God, I
felt less stressed and I felt more peaceful.

Perfecting Christmas

Affirmation:  I let
go of perfection.

As of this writing the Christmas season has officially begun.  Today is the first Sunday of Advent. My
entire family will be here, all our children, all our grandchildren, all the
in-laws and my 90 year old mother. There might even be a few coming of whom I’m not aware. I feel blessed to be surrounded by so many loving
people and the really good news is everyone usually likes everyone else. I am
also blessed because I have the good health and the energy to do everything I
like to do for Christmas.

I love to decorate the house. I would like to leave my Christmas
tree up all year long. I love having red sparkly and gold glitzy things all
around. It makes me feel warm and enlivened. I love to put together the
Christmas cards and I love to snail mail them out to all the people on my list.
I like recalling the memories associated with each one as I write their names
and try to take enough time to say a small blessing over each envelope. I usually
send a photo card and I love to go through the year’s photos, re-live the memories and choose the best picture of each
person. I also like to do a photo family calendar. I was so excited the first
time I saw such a thing. I knew it would be something I would try. The first
year, it took me days to get it done. The good news is now it only takes hours.
I’m sure someday I’ll be even more efficient
but it’s OK either way. I love
going over the year’s photos and putting
different memories on each monthly page and then putting my loved one’s photos in the date box of their birthday.

In the South Christmas starts the day after Thanksgiving. Yes, it
starts much earlier in the stores; earlier and earlier each year and some of my
neighbors have their houses decorated before Thanksgiving. But, for many of us
here in North Carolina, at least in the area I live in, the decorations go up
Thanksgiving weekend. I love that too. I get to enjoy the festive sprit in my
home for about a month.


But, even though I am crazy about all the activities involved in
our celebration, I can stress out. Yes, there is good stress and there is bad
stress but stress is stress and it can be exhausting. Most of our traditions
seem to be activities that I have taken on as my responsibility. I purchase
most of the gifts. I plan the menu. I buy most of the food. I wrap most of the
presents. You can probably add to the list. Most women reading this probably
have many other items for which they feel responsible. I usually handle most of
our activities fairly well unless life happens. You know about life. Life is
what happens in between all our plans.

I like order. I like things neat and clean. There are times when I’m sure my desire for order borders on obsessive-compulsive. But,
the truth is there is only so much time and energy and money and at some point,
I have to let some things slide. It’s a requirement to
maintain my mental and physical health. I have several artist friends and they
occasionally speak about what happens to their art work when they strive for
perfection. They add one more dab of paint, one more stroke of the brush, one
more line to the drawing or one more turn to the potter’s wheel and they have ruined their work. From them, I have taken
the lesson that while I strive to do my best, I cannot always expect perfection
from myself. When I do that, I will consistently ruin my work and ruin the
enjoyment I take from the process. I must tell myself, “I let go of perfection.” The more I practice releasing myself from unrealistic
expectations, the more joyful I am. The more I practice letting go of going for
the gold, the more relaxed I am. And, when I can be centered and calm, my
Christmas, my life and the life of many of those around me is filled with the
things that are truly important to me and to the world; peace, love, joy,
compassion and gratitude.

May you and your loved ones have a Blessed Christmas, a Happy
Holiday season and a Happy New Year.

 

Perfecting Christmas

Affirmation:  I let go of perfection.

Christmas is almost upon us.  At this writing there are only 2 days left.  My entire family will be here, all our children, all our grandchildren, all the in-laws and both of our mothers.  There might even be a few coming of whom I’m not aware.  I feel blessed to be surrounded by so many loving people and the really good news is everyone usually likes everyone else.  I am also blessed because I have the good health and the energy to do everything I like to do for Christmas. 

I love to decorate the house.  I would like to leave my Christmas tree up all year long.  I love having red sparkly and gold glitzy things all around.  It makes me feel warm and enlivened.  I love to put together the Christmas cards and I love to snail mail them out to all the people on my list.  I like recalling the memories associated with each one as I write their names and try to take enough time to say a small blessing over each envelope.  I usually send a photo card and I love to go through the year’s photos, re-live the memories and choose the best picture of each person.  I also like to do a photo family calendar.  I was so excited the first time I saw such a thing.  I knew it would be something I would try.  The first year, it took me days to get it done.  The good news is now it only takes hours.  I’m sure someday I’ll be even more efficient but it’s OK either way.  I love going over the year’s photos and putting different memories on each monthly page and then putting my loved one’s photos in the date box of their birthday. 

In the South Christmas starts the day after Thanksgiving.  Yes, it starts much earlier in the stores; earlier and earlier each year and some of my neighbors have their houses decorated before Thanksgiving.  But, for many of us here in North Carolina, at least in the area I live in, the decorations go up Thanksgiving weekend.  I love that too.  I get to enjoy the festive sprit in my home for about a month. 
But, even though I am crazy about all the activies involved in our celebration, I can stress out.  Yes, there is good stress and there is bad stress but stress is stress and it can be exhausting.  Most of our traditions seem to be activities that I have taken on as my responsibility.  I purchase most of the gifts.  I plan the menu.  I buy most of the food.  I wrap most of the presents.  You can probably add to the list.  Most women reading this probably have many other items for which they feel responsible.  I usually handle most of our activities fairly well unless life happens.  You know about life.  Life is what happens in between all our plans.  
I like order.  I like things neat and clean.  There are times when I’m sure my desire for order borders on obsessive-compulsive.  But, the truth is there is only so much time and energy and money and at some point, I have to let some things slide.  It’s a requirement to maintain my mental and physical health.  I have several artist friends and they occasionally speak about what happens to their art work when they strive for perfection.  They add one more dab of paint, one more stroke of the brush, one more line to the drawing or one more turn to the potter’s wheel and they have ruined their work.  From them, I have taken the lesson that while I strive to do my best, I cannot always expect perfection from myself.  When I do that, I will consistently ruin my work and ruin the enjoyment I take from the process.  I must tell myself, “I let go of perfection.”  The more I practice releasing myself from unrealistic expectations, the more joyful I am.  The more I practice letting go of going for the gold, the more relaxed I am.  And, when I can be centered and calm, my Christmas, my life and the life of many of those around me is filled with the things that are truly important to me and to the world; peace, love, joy, compassion and gratitude. 
May you and your loved ones have a Blessed Christmas, a Happy Holiday season and a Happy New Year.